


In The Dark

by DarkCellar



Category: Star Wars, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), kylux - Fandom
Genre: Adoption, Alternate Universe - Star Wars Setting, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Comedy, Death, Depression, Domestic Fluff, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Romance, Eventual kylux, Evil Space Boyfriends, Falling In Love, Family Feels, Family Fluff, Fighting, Fluff, Fluffy Ending, Force Bond (Star Wars), Friendship/Love, Funny, Gay, Gay Romance, General Hux - Freeform, Gentle Kissing, Gentleness, Gray Jedi, Happy Ending, IN SPACE!, Implied Sexual Content, Kylo Ren - Freeform, Kylux - Freeform, Love, Love Confessions, Loving Marriage, M/M, Marriage, Marriage Proposal, Passion, Romance, Romantic Fluff, Romantic Gestures, Romantic Soulmates, Same-Sex Marriage, Sci-Fi, Secret Marriage, Secret Relationship, Sex, Space Gays, Star Wars - Freeform, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015) - Freeform, relationships, space
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-01
Updated: 2017-10-01
Packaged: 2018-10-05 17:39:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 33,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10313546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkCellar/pseuds/DarkCellar
Summary: Boy meets boy, boy hates boy, boy falls in love with boy and questions his entire existence.





	1. Chapter 1

He watched as the shuttle made its approach from a distance, the thrusters giving off a bevy of light and steam when it made contact with the cold ground.

He closed his eyes, trying to ignore the excruciating sting that was covering his whole body, and the blood oozing out and staining the snow all around him.

When he was a child, he had believed that if he closed his eyes, others would not be able to see him, the same way that he couldn't see others.

A silly, juvenile belief--but also a powerful one.

So he squinched his eyes shut tightly and made no movements, no effort to respond to the increasingly frantic shouts of General Hux and his stormtroopers.

He had a tracking device on his belt, which he knew that the General had followed to this location. Before his fight with the girl he had taken it off and thrown it some feet away in the snow, so as to throw off his potential rescuers.

Whether he won or lost, he did not wish to be rescued.

He risked a slight movement of his hand to clutch at his face, which was now beginning to burn with the mix of blood and snow. Without being aware of it, he groaned out loud, tenderly feeling along the edge of the line that the girl had put there. His fingers were a dark red as he pulled them away.

If I live, I'll most likely have a scar, he thought absently to himself. Anakin Skywalker had a scar; but I don't believe his was as big as mine is. Or would be. If I lived.

He reached numb fingertips back towards his cut-open shoulder. The blood flow there seemed to be slowing; or maybe it was just that he couldn't feel it anymore.

Why is this taking so long?! he thought angrily to himself. I can feel that I'm bleeding heavily from several different places. I don't think that Hux has any idea where I am.

Why aren't I dead yet?

The ground rumbled and hissed beneath him, fissures opening up all across the snowy landscape like the bowels of hell.

The planet was imploding, slowly, much too slowly for Ren's taste.

He was aware that his consciousness was rapidly fading, and he welcomed the feeling, embracing it. He knew that the temperatures had gone far below freezing with the setting of the sun, but he had ceased to feel the cold.

The sound of footsteps crunching over the frozen ground caused him to turn his head a little. His blurred eyes caught a glimpse of black clothing; flared beeches and a large black coat with the First Order insignia on it.

Hux.

Of course.

In spite of everything, he started to laugh to himself. The intake of breath hurt his chest awfully, making it feel as though knives were scraping along his rib cage, but he couldn't stop.

This was absurd.

Why in the hells was Hux out here, himself, looking for Ren? He could have just sent out his men to search and rescue, and stayed on board the shuttle.

Ren continued to laugh but kept his eyes closed, listening as Hux walked right up to him and stood staring down at him, bleeding out and laughing.

There was a light sensation of pressure on his wrist, as Hux knelt in the snow to feel his pulse.

This made Ren laugh harder than ever, his body shaking with amusement and pain.

Of course I'm alive, you idiot. The dead can't very well laugh, can they?!

He was aware of being lifted up, and hazarded opening his eyes. 

Hux had hoisted him up by the arms and slung him over his shoulder, carrying him back towards the shuttle.

Hux slipped and staggered under Ren's weight, and the two men nearly hit the ground before Hux was able to regain his balance and keep walking.

"Put me down."

These were the first words Ren had spoken out-loud, and they shocked him. He was surprised at how different his voice sounded, how thick, how disconnected. As if he was speaking from underwater.

Hux ignored him and kept trudging on, breathing hard and stopping every few moments to rest.

Several storm troopers approached the two men and offered to take Ren from Hux.

To Ren's dismay, Hux used his free hand to wave them off, his voice coming out strained as he said "I've got him. Gather the rest of the troops back on board the ship and prepare for takeoff."

Once the men were out of sight, Ren gathered his strength and pushed himself off of Hux and onto the ground. 

He landed on his feet but his legs quickly gave out, dropping him to his knees instead. He snarled, 

"Leave me here."

"What? Ren I can't do that; I have orders from Snoke to bring you back at once."

Ren looked up at him, his dark eyes narrowed in an angry glare.

"Tell him you couldn't find me! Tell him I was already dead! Tell him something, anything; I don't care what. But I am NOT getting on the ship with you!"

Hux stood for a moment, crossing his arms and staring down at the knight. The way he was looking at him incensed Ren once again; it was the way his mother and father used to look at him, as a child.

"He's having another fit, Han."

"Just let him work it out of himself, he'll calm down eventually."

Ren stretched his hand out towards Hux, intended to throw him into a tree, and gasped.

His Force powers were considerably weak, much weaker than he had ever suspected they could get.

Something was wrong; Snoke had always told him that the angrier he got, the more pain he felt, the more powerful he would become. 

Yet right now his pain and anger seemed to have the opposite effect; he found that he could barely even focus on Hux, let alone summon the energy needed to lob him at a tree.

Looks like I've failed Snoke in another way, as well, he thought to himself.

Nevertheless, he was prepared to fight Hux tooth and nail to avoid being put on the ship. Force powers or not, he was slightly taller than Hux, and more heavily built, his muscular physique standing out in stark contrast to Hux's slender body. 

He got shakily to his feet, swaying slightly as he clenched his fists and prepared to advance on the ginger man.

"Ren. This planet has less than 10 minutes before the entire thing collapses. I have orders from Snoke. I have a shuttle full of men I am responsible for the lives of. I don't have the time to argue with you, or play whatever game it is you're playing. Get. On. The. Ship."

He spoke calmly, mechanically. His posture betrayed no nervousness, although his eyes had taken on a wary look.

Ren scowled, his hand beginning to twitch towards his light saber before remembering that it had been rendered unusable by the girl.

Hux saw the fractional movement of his fingers towards his saber, and sighed.

He approached Ren where he stood, slowly, arms still folded across his chest. 

He stopped when he was directly in front of him, taking a moment to pause and look at the bright red snow all around him.

Without warning, Hux shot out his gloved fist and punched Ren heavily in his still-bleeding side. His blow was sudden, but accurate, tearing a new sizzling line of pain down Ren's torso.

Ren dropped to his knees again, yelling in frustration and agony. He turned blazing eyes up towards Hux, who stood over him with a small smile on his face.

"Ren," he began in a softer voice, one Ren had never heard him use before. "I can tell that you're weak right now, and your powers must be temporarily diminished. Otherwise you probably would have killed me already."

He kicked one heavy-booted foot into the Knights back, making Ren contort in agony.

"Now. I'm going to pick you up again, and bring you to the ship. You're going to go into the Bacta tank, and it'll be like all of this," he said, gesturing towards Ren's injuries with his hand, "Never happened."

"If you try to struggle, if you make it difficult for me in any way, I'll just have to keep on hurting you until you're more cooperative."

He put his boot down on Ren's shoulder, increasing the pressure slowly until Ren was all but howling in torment.

"Do we have an understanding?", Hux asked him, temporarily lifting his boot as he stared patiently down at him.

Ren nodded, not trusting himself to speak.

"Good."

Hux bent down and hoisted him across his shoulders once again, carrying him the remaining 200 feet or so to the shuttle.

"Don't think I'm going to just forget this, General," Ren growled, gritting his teeth against the pain. "When I'm better, the first thing I'm going to do is come after you."

Hux smirked, before setting the man down on his feet at the ship's entrance. 

"Good. I'm looking forward to it. Now walk into the ship on your own. Don't let my men see you being carried on."

Ren looked at him in disbelief. Since when did Hux care about his, Ren's, image? Or what his men thought of him?

Deep down, as hard as he tried to deny it, he felt--grateful. The General understood that it was bad enough that Ren was appearing for the first time in front of the troopers unmasked, but to be carried on like a helpless invalid would have been one rung on the ladder before death for him.

He wouldn't say any of this to Hux, though; nor would he thank him for, in effect, saving his life.

He still would rather have died.

So he merely nodded at the General and staggered up the ramp, using a piece of his torn robe to cover his face.

-.-.-.-

Hux stood with his back to Ren, arms crossed behind his back, staring out the darkened window.

They were in what Hux referred to his "office" on board the larger ship.

Ren had spent half the day floating in the slimy pink Bacta tank, his injuries healing themselves and his strength returning to him in slow increments.

As he floated, in a state of semi consciousness, he had endless time to think.

He replayed the battle with FN-2187 and the girl over and over in his mind, trying to figure out where he had made mistakes.

His biggest one, his nearly fatal one, has been that he had felt a measure of compassion towards the girl.

When he had probed her mind on Starkiller, he had read a depth of loneliness and desperation there that reminded him of his own. She genuinely did not mean harm to him, or to anybody. Her heart, her concern for her friends, had called to Kylo's mind his mother; and that had opened up a long-forgotten channel in his own heart.

Because of this, he had found it difficult, painful even, to engage her and the defective stormtrooper in battle; but he knew he had no other options. She would not come with him willingly, and therefore he had to try and incapacitate her enough so that he could just take her away.

He had sensed that the former soldier had a strong depth of feelings for the girl, and his desperation to make sure that she would be alright made him erratic, and clumsy.

Taking out FN-2187 had been relatively easily. He was not versed in the ways of the Force, nor lightsaber combat, and Ren had quickly disarmed and disabled him, rendering him unconscious in the snow.

He had intended to get the saber, and then collect the girl he had left unconscious a few yards away. Get her, return to the base, get on a shuttle, and bring her to Snoke.

Yet when he stretched his hand toward the blue saber, nothing happened. It didn't even move. He strained until finally it wiggled back and forth in the snow, and flew towards his outstretched hand.

Or rather, past it,

And right into the girl's. 

He had stared at her, unable to believe that she had managed to draw the saber to her--or that she looked like she intended to fight him.

It was shocking, and very unexpected.

He had never dueled with a woman before, and this one was particularly small, and severely underdressed for the brutally cold temperatures of the planet they were on.

He had assumed it would be easy, to overpower her and take her captive.

True, she was strong with the Force. But she was wild, she was untamed and untrained.

He neglected to take into account his previous injuries, his fatigue, his mental turmoil over having just killed his father, and a slew of other factors that somehow enabled the girl to not only get the upper hand on him, but to damage his saber and cut open his face in the process.

He had been correct in his assessment that he would have a scar. 

He traced over it lightly with his fingertips as the medical droids checked him over after his release from the Bacta.

It was deep, a thin line that went from the bottom of his cheek in a diagonal swath to his forehead.

He felt anger, a deep raging hatred towards the pain the girl had inflicted on him, and his scar, and himself, for being so weak as to be in this situation in the first place.

Closing his eyes, he sat on the cold metal table while the droid prodded and poked his body, and let his hatred swirl and beat around his head in a thick fog.

One person's face came to mind in the midst of his reverie.

Hux.

That bastard couldn't just leave him there, when all he wanted to do was die in peace. Had treated Ren like a subordinate, even going so far as to take advantage of his weakened physical state by inflicting pain on him.

Well, a promise is a promise, he thought to himself as the droid finished, and he began to dress himself.

He was still a little shaky on his legs, and very tired, but that didn't matter right now.

He was going to pay Hux a visit.

He had gotten to the door of his office, and stood within the doorframe, staring at the ginger man. Something about the way Hux was standing, his shoulders slightly hunched and his head tilted down, gave Ren pause in his intended attack.

Even from behind, Ren could tell that he was sad. Maybe a little bit angry.

Hux lifted his head, now, when Ren entered the room, having seen his reflection in the mirrored glass, but made no move to turn around and face him.

"Back on your feet, I see," Hux spoke quietly, indifferently, still not bothering to turn around. "Seeing as how you're here, I presume you now feel well enough to 'come after me', like you promised?"

Ren sneered, coming into the room. 

"You insolent fool," he hissed, coming to stand at the General's side. "Is that really something you want? If it isn't, I would advise you not to make comments like that. My patience with you has already run quite thin; you'd be wise not to stretch it out any further."

"YOUR patience with ME is 'running thin?' How, may I ask, do you think I feel towards YOU, Ren?"

"How you feel towards me is not my concern, General. Your opinion is of no significance to me."

"Perhaps not, but certainly you care what Snoke will have to say about what you've cost me, what you've cost the entire Order?"

Ren glared at him, gritting his teeth.

"I know that I let the scavenger girl get away, but--"

"Scavenger girl? SCAVENGER GIRL?! You think that this is JUST about that girl?!" Hux blazed at him, his shoulders shaking with rage.

"Ren--you failed to retrieve the map to Luke Skywalker. You failed to get any information out of the girl that would have helped us. Going back farther, you failed to tell me of the treasonous thoughts of FN-2187, despite the fact that you KNEW of his mindset ever since that raid on Jakku! When you brought the girl on board the ship, you let her escape and failed to tell me or anyone else of a possible dangerous security breach! Your father and that damn Wookiee someone managed to sneak in here, disable Phasma, and destroy our ship! Starkiller base is gone, the weapon is destroyed, and I've lost A THIRD OF MY MEN to rebel fire! And despite all of this, despite every horrible thing you've done or failed to do, Snoke orders me to go and find you! And how do you thank me for that? You try and fight me off when I'm trying to get you to safety!"

Hux was ranting now, his eyes snapping out jade fire at the surprised knight.

"So Ren, if you're here to kill me, or hurt me, or whatever petulant whining blame-deflecting reason you have for being in here right now, just DO IT ALREADY. If not, GET THE KRIFF OUT OF MY OFFICE and DO NOT BOTHER ME AGAIN UNTIL WE GET TO SNOKE."

Hux turned away from him again and re-clasped his arms behind his back, staring once more out the dark window.

Ren was at a loss for words, a condition of exquisite rarity for him.

He opened his mouth once, twice, to speak, but no words would come out. 

Everything that Hux had said was true, and he couldn't deny it, not even to himself.

So he turned without saying anything and strode out of the room, and back to his bunk, leaving the General alone.


	2. Chapter 2

Ren swam along the high coral walls of the deep cove, the filtered sunlight piercing through the  
clear water and illuminating the gravelly bottom. 

Seaweed and plants waved up at him in fluorescent greens and  
yellows. The sharp-edged rocks softly sparkled, as though  
embedded with a bevy of crystals.

There were fishes stroking along beside him, a variety of  
sizes and shapes, in nearly every color of the rainbow. Ren  
slowed his pace and watched, amused, as they flitted and  
leapt in little whirls around him.

Despite the fantastical beauty of his surroundings, his brow  
began to crease with worry. Surely he would have to return  
to the surface soon; he had been down here for quite a  
while, and holding his breath had never been one of his  
strong points.

He glanced up towards the light, and was taken aback when he  
realized that he had swam down much farther than he had  
intended to. 

The sunshine seemed to be miles away, and here he was close  
enough to the bottom to walk along its rough sandy floor.

He began to kick his legs gracefully, propelling himself  
upwards. 

The hem of his black robe trailed out behind him in a wavy  
stream, making him appear as a dark member of this cove's  
aquatic life.

Something was wrong. 

The faster he swam, the further away the surface became. He  
controlled his unease as best he could, rationing what  
little air was left in his tightening chest.

When he could hold off no longer, he accepted his fate and  
took a deep breath of the water. 

He waited with fear for the explosion that was sure to erupt  
from his lungs; but the waiting was in vain. 

He didn't need oxygen.

He was already dead.

He felt his limp body being pulled upwards through the cold  
waves, his eyes expressionless and his face blank save for a  
small smile teasing at the corners of his full lips.

It didn't hurt, he thought to himself, still smiling. I had  
always assumed that death hurt quite badly, but this was  
just as easy as anything.

I should have done this sooner.

-.-.-.-

Ren woke up, gasping in air, eyes darting around the solid  
blackness of the room.

For a split second he believed he really HAD died, that his  
weary body had finally given up its hold on his soul,  
depriving him of light, and sound.

Then he felt the heavy pressure of his rough blanket  
covering his body, and the smoothness of the pillows  
underneath his neck, and he sighed.

A dream.

It was just a dream.

He squinted until his eyes adjusted to the darkness, reading  
the small time piece that was situated next to him on the  
nightstand.

Just barely at 0500.

Early, much too early for his taste. Yet he knew that now  
sleep would be an impossibility. 

He lay in his bunk a few more moments before gathering his  
strength and throwing off his covers, wincing as the cold  
air hit his bare skin.

He felt his way across the room and turned on the light, the  
small bulb doing its best to throw brightness on his  
dismally plain room.

He dressed himself quickly, fighting against the chill in  
the air and his lingering fatigue. 

He couldn't help but acknowledge the deep melancholy that  
his dream had produced. He rubbed at his temples with his  
long fingers, gazing out the window at the mostly-empty  
grounds of the base.

It wasn't the dream itself that had scared him.

It was how badly disappointed he was that it wasn't real.

Once he finished dressing, he walked over to the pedestal in  
the corner of the room and knelt reverently, eyes searching  
the surface of the charred helmet that rested upon it.

His grandfather's helmet.

Darth Vader.

"Good morning, Grandfather," he whispered quietly.

As was often the case, there was no response. Ren's grandfather was oddly peculiar about when and how he would choose to respond to Ren's attempts at communication.

Still, it made the moments when he DID respond all the sweeter.

He picked up his own helmet from the little tray it rested  
on, pulling it over his head and locking the mechanisms into  
place.

He picked up his newly-rebuilt lightsaber from the tray and  
clipped it into his belt, patting it to make sure it was  
firmly secured. 

Once satisfied, he pressed the release button on the wall to  
open his door, exiting his room and striding down the quiet,  
dark hallway.

He had no real idea of where he was going; he only knew that  
he couldn't bear to sit still in his room anymore. He had a  
vague idea of going out on the grounds and finding a quiet  
spot to meditate, perhaps in the little cluster of forest  
that stretched just to the south of the base.

He turned the corner, and stopped himself just in time from  
running into General Hux.

Since the altercation on board the ship, Ren and Hux had had  
very little to do with one another.

They had waited, under Snoke's command, several days before  
joining him and what troops and personnel they had left at  
the First Order's secret second base, located on the remote  
forest moon of Endor.

Once, this place had been inhabited by a tribe of sentient  
warrior creatures called Ewoks. They had been instrumental  
in aiding the rebellion in bringing about the collapse of  
the galactic empire, as well as the death of Emperor  
Palpatine.

Since that time, they had been hunted into near-extinction  
by Imperialist sympathizers, turning this corner of the  
galaxy into a disused, disremembered wasteland.

Snoke had thought this the perfect place to have a second  
base for contingency purposes, and had had men and women  
working here on the facilities and the new superweapon since  
long before Starkiller base had been obliterated.

Ren had been prepared for strict punishment and reprimanding  
from the Supreme Leader, due to all the failures that Hux  
had so eloquently pointed out to him on board the ship.

But there had been nothing, not even the slightest hint of  
blame or fault placed on the surprised knight.

Rather he had been commended on the one successful thing he  
had managed to do, kill his father, and was begun on a new  
training regimen to further heighten his Force abilities.

Conversely, Snoke was quite hard on the General, berating  
him on everything, from the defection of FN-2187 to the  
destruction of Starkiller.

Hux had accepted this evaluation in silence, eyes lowered to  
the ground, personal disappointment and defeat bleeding out  
of him and into the air around them.

Listening to Snoke, for the first time in a long time, Ren  
felt bad. Almost guilty.

Hux had been completely accurate in his assessment of Ren,  
and honest. Snoke was placating towards his apprentice,  
disdaining to place the blame where it really lied and  
instead taking out his anger on Hux, who despite the chaos  
had kept his head and managed to salvage a good deal of  
human and material resources from the old base, including  
Ren himself.

When that meeting with Snoke was over, the two had walked  
out of his chambers and into the hallway outside, quietly.

Ren had started to say something to the General, perhaps an  
apology of sorts; but the General had quickly cut him off,  
saying that he had much to attend to and needed to get  
started straight away.

He had walked away, and Ren had watched him go, an  
indescribable feeling flooding his chest.

Since that day, and the occasional meeting they both were  
required to attend, they had had almost no interaction with  
one another.

That is, until now.

Both men looked silently at one another, before Hux said,  
gruffly,

"Ren. What are you doing up so early?"

"I couldn't sleep," Ren replied, as always aware of how cold  
and impersonal his voice sounded, coming from the modulator  
in his helmet.

"That's a pity," Hux replied absently, looking down and  
shuffling through the papers that were attached to the  
clipboard he held in his hands. "If you'll excuse me, I have  
to make my morning rounds."

He stepped around Ren and continued down the hall. As Ren  
watched, he stopped every few moments and closely looked at  
the machines and gears placed along the floor, checking them  
and scribbling things down on his papers.

Ren watched until he got to the end of the long hall, before  
calling out 

"General?"

Hux turned back towards him, an irritated expression on his  
face.

"What is it, Ren?"

Ren moved quickly until he was beside the General. 

"If you don't mind, I'd like to accompany you on your  
rounds."

Hux looked at him suspiciously, then  lightly shrugged  
his shoulders.

"If you wish."

Hux didn't walk so much as he marched, his mirror-reflective  
boots echoing off the tiles as he moved swiftly from room to  
room.

The majority of the people the two men encountered were  
individuals of whom Ren had had no prior knowledge of the  
existence of. 

Yet Hux seemed to know them all, addressing each person by  
name (and rank, when appropriate) and asking questions or  
giving out orders for tasks to be fulfilled during the day.

These subordinates all had a deep level of respect for the  
General. This was something that Ren could feel emanating  
out of the men and women in slow, deep waves.

In regards to himself, the feelings were not so much about  
respect as they were about fear. 

They all knew who he was, of course.

It would be hard NOT to know.

They saluted the General but they bowed before Ren,  
punctuating their timid greetings with a reverently  
respectful "my Lord" or "Lord Ren".

Ren nodded in response but said nothing.

As they walked along, Hux spoke to him about this person or  
that, entailing their duties around the base, and the  
different expectations he had for certain people.

Ren listened to Hux quietly, thoughtfully, offering his  
opinion when necessary but otherwise respectfully silent as  
the General spoke.

Hux is a lot smarter, and a LOT more involved with day to  
day operations than I would have thought, Ren was thinking  
to himself. How does he remember all of their names like  
that? We must have met over a hundred people so far but he  
never made a single mistake. 

" . . . feeling okay?"

"Excuse me?", Ren asked, startled out of his thoughts.

"I said, are you feeling okay?"

Ren looked at him through the mask, somewhat confusedly.

"I'm fine. Why?"

The General stopped walking, and turned to face him. 

"You're being a great deal quieter than is normal for you."

"I'm just tired. It is rather early," he replied, his voice  
low and distorted through the filter of the modulator.

Hux began walking again, Ren striding along beside him. 

"You think this is early?" Hux asked him as they moved  
towards the main corridor. "It's going on 0700 hours, or  
will be in a few moments."

Ren shrugged. A question had occurred to him, perhaps as  
much by his own growing hunger as by simple curiosity.

"When do you eat?"

"Pardon?"

"Eat. When do you eat? You know, food?"

"Oh," said Hux, turning back to his papers and shrugging the  
matter off as unimportant. "I usually have tea around 0800,  
before I go to my first meeting."

Ren frowned inside the mask. "Tea? That's it?"

"I eat when I can, Ren," Hux replied, looking directly at  
him now. "Why do you care, anyway?"

"I don't," Ren said quickly, before continuing. "That's not  
very healthy, is all."

Hux raised an eyebrow at him. "Healthy? I hardly think  
you're in a position to lecture me on 'healthy', Ren."

"Meaning?"

"Meaning, you're right, it IS early, and I haven't the time  
to argue with you right now on the nuances of what you feel  
entails proper eating habits."

"Well, maybe you have the time for breakfast, then? You just  
said your meeting was at 0800. You have an hour."

Hux looked sideways at him, and Ren could feel his  
indecision.

"I don't know, Ren," he said slowly, eyes glued to his  
papers. "I was going to go out on the parade ground, make  
sure the Captains have the courses prepared for the drills  
today, and then--"

"General," Ren interrupted him, smoothly cutting across his  
words. "I'm sure that your Captains are sufficiently  
prepared for their day. You taking 30 or so minutes to have  
a meal will most likely not impact them in one way or the  
other."

"Yes, but--"

"30 minutes. That's all. Mess is right down the hall."

Hux looked from his paperwork to Ren, and back again.  
Finally he gave a small sigh and shrugged his shoulders. 

"Very well. Let's go."

The mess hall seemed ridiculously huge, empty of all the men  
and women that were usually crowded in here.

Hux walked over to the kitchen staff and spoke with them  
swiftly giving them the orders of the two men before coming  
back and sitting at a small table with Ren.

Ren pulled his helmet off, and was busily trying to  
finger-comb his messy hair into some sort of order.

Hux watched him for a bit before saying "Why are you  
bothering with that? You wear that helmet all day anyhow, no  
one will know if your hair is unkempt."

"I'LL know," Ren said quietly, as he continued to fluff.

"You'll be the only one who does, though."

"So what? I'm the only one who matters."

Hux's brows drew together, and he frowned at the taller man.  
"Do you really believe that?"

Ren looked at him, a scowl forming over his face. "I think  
everyone should believe that, actually. Look out for  
yourself, and worry about no one else."

Hux watched him a moment longer, before looking down at his  
datapad. "I suppose you're right," he mumbled, not looking  
up.

A member of the staff brought over their food, setting it  
down in front of them. Hux thanked her and took his own  
plate, digging into his eggs while still looking through his  
pad.

Ren ate too, silently, his mind wandering all over the place  
until a voice from behind pulled him from his thoughts.

"Ah, General, there you are! I looked for you in your office  
but you weren't there. I have some papers I wanted you to  
look over before the meeting later."

The man speaking was Hux's assistant, a wiry man with an  
irritating, nasally voice. 

The man stopped short when he saw Ren looking at him, and  
hastily bowed before him.

"My Lord," he said, before turning towards the General and  
continuing to speak on the papers he had brought with him.

Hux listened attentively, but Ren could feel a distinct air  
of annoyance coming out of him.

Ren stood up, rising to his full height and glaring at the  
man. The color drained from the man's face.

"Excuse me," Ren said in his deep, low voice. "The General  
and I are having breakfast. It is most rude of you to  
interrupt our proceedings. I DO NOT APPRECIATE BEING  
INTERRUPTED."

The man quickly gathered up his papers and backed away from  
the table, stumbling over himself in his haste. 

"Forgive me, my Lord," he mumbled in a quavering voice.  
"General, I will bring these to you when you are through  
here. Please forgive my intrusion," he said, glancing up  
fearfully at Ren.

"Apology accepted, Captain Monroe," Hux replied, nodding at  
him. He looked stern, but to Ren it almost looked like he  
was working hard to suppress a smile. "You may go."

Monroe nodded and swiftly backed away, looking timidly over  
his shoulder one last time at Ren, who remained standing  
until he was out of the room.

Once he was gone, Ren sat back down and sighed a little,  
shaking his head.

The two were quiet for a little bit, before Hux spoke  
unexpectedly and said "Thank you."

Ren looked up at him, and offered him a rare smile. "No  
problem."

Hux was still looking at him, and opened his mouth as though  
he was going to say something more.

Instead, he shook his head lightly, as if to clear it, and  
stood up abruptly.

"I really should be going now," he said, busily gathering up  
the plates and bringing them to a member of the kitchen  
staff.

He came back to the table and pulled his coat from the back  
of the chair, laying it over his shoulders before picking up  
his data pad.

"Er, this was--nice, Ren. A good idea from you, for once,"  
he said somewhat awkwardly, half-jokingly.

Ren nodded to him, saying nothing as he retrieved his helmet  
and pulled it back over his head.

The two men walked towards the door, preparing to go their  
separate ways.

Before he turned away, Hux paused, and looked directly into  
Ren's mask. He offered him a small, somewhat shy smile  
before saying, gruffly,

"Have a good day. See you at evening drill."

He marched quickly away, leaving Ren looking after him  
thoughtfully.


	3. Chapter 3

Ren was shaking violently from head to toe, his robes jittering out behind him in the wind.

He tried his best to ignore it, but found that it was nearly impossible. He was grateful for his mask, so that no one could see his face.

Snoke had decreed that twice a month, General Hux would be taking separate squads of storm troopers to Hoth, to drill them in what he referred to as Winter Training. 

They took three large ships, and they would stay at Hoth for a period of 5 days. 

The men were made to run combat drills and exercise out in the ice and the snow, and were evaluated based on how well they performed under the uncomfortable circumstances. This meant promotions in rank for some, praise for a few, and demotion or reconditioning for countless others.

Hux had about 500 men out here at the moment, and was intently watching as the section leaders called out orders and commands. He had his datapad constantly at the ready to write down notes about who he thought was doing well, who needed improvement, what should be done differently, and so on.

Normally Hux and his officers would go alone with the troops for this training period, but for this particular session Snoke had sent Ren along with them.

He stood out here, now, struggling to remain upright even though he wanted nothing more than to hunch over in the biting cold. 

He glanced over at Hux and was annoyed at how unbothered he seemed regarding the weather. His face was calm and relaxed, his breathing as steady as though they were standing in tropical sunshine.

Ren felt as though he were dying.

Aside from the chill, his head ached awfully, and his chest felt painfully tight. There was also a pervasive feeling of anxiety, stemming from nowhere, that wouldn't leave him alone.

Part of this was psychological, and he knew that. He was being overwhelmed with memories of the last time he had been out in the desolate cold of a snow planet, and it was wreaking havoc with his mind, and his body.

He stared off into the distance, watching the Storm Troopers go about their exercises. For once, he felt sorry for them.

Not that he would ever admit that to anyone else.

An insistent tapping on his shoulder startled him.

Turning just slightly, he saw the General standing there, saying something to him. The roaring of the wind made it difficult to hear; he could just barely make out the words "Ren" and "ship".

"What?!" he shouted through the mask, leaning closer to Hux to hear him better.

"I said, we need to get the troops back inside. The sun is setting and the temperature is dropping."

Good, he thought to himself.

He and Hux walked down the middle of the parade grounds, telling individual Captains to bring in their troops to their assigned ship.

It was a wonder that anyone could understand what Ren was saying to them. He had adjusted his voice modulator to as high as it could go, but the shrieking wind drowned him out nonetheless.

Eventually all the troops were inside and having their evening meal. Hux and his officers had their meal in Hux's large on-ship office, to eat and discuss the events of the day.

By way of extension, Ren was expected to join Hux and the others, but he just couldn't. As soon as he knew he wouldn't be missed, he slipped away and went back to his own quarters. 

He yanked off the cold metal mask as soon as the door shut behind him and messaged his frozen face with his fingers.

He sat on his sofa and put his head in his hands, trying to block out the throbbing that was growing more intense with each passing moment.

He had no idea how much time was passing, or how long he sat there just staring down at his boots. 

Eventually a low knock sounded on his outer door. Too tired to get up, or even try to put on his mask, he simply yelled "Come in", turning his face towards the door.

Hux entered, looking around himself before stepping into the room. He had a handful of papers that he was shuffling through.

"Ren, sorry to disturb you but I wanted to go over--"

He stopped short, looking closely at Ren where he sat still hunched over.

"What's the matter with you?" Hux asked, coming closer still and peering down at him.

"N-nothing," Ren replied, silently cursing himself when he heard the distinctive chattering of his teeth as he spoke. He hoped against hope that Hux hadn't heard it, too.

Which of course was ridiculous.

Hux noticed everything.

Hux folded his arms across his chest and stared down at Ren, frowning. "It doesn't look like 'nothing'. You look rather sick."

"I'm f-fine," Ren snapped, scowling. "You wanted to discuss something with me, so get on with it, already. Discuss."

Hux set his papers down on the little table in front of Ren, shaking his head.

"I thought you didn't look well earlier; I guess I was right. You're sick."

"I am NOT sick, you imbecile. I'm just tired, and--"

Ren was interrupted by a series of intense, violent sneezes. He cupped his hands over his mouth and coughed into them, blinking against the blur in his eyes.

When he finished, he stood up and walked into the refresher, grabbing a handful of tissues and stuffing them into the pockets of his robes.

He came back out and sat back down, looking at Hux sullenly. Hux was still standing by the table, arms folded, only now his face had taken on a different expression. He looked --worried.

Neither man spoke for a few moments, and then Hux was saying, somewhat awkwardly, 

"Do you--have tea, here?"

"Tea?" Ren sniffled, pulling out a tissue and blowing his nose lightly. "What for?"

Hux rolled his eyes. "Tea is good for you when you're sick. It helps your throat."

"I don't like tea. And I'm not sick."

Hux sighed and sat down next to him, pulling his datapad out of his coat pocket. He typed a few things into it, then set it down on the table on top of his papers.

"I'm having the kitchen staff bring you some tea, and soup."

Ren felt odd, having Hux do that for him. For acting like he--cared. It made him uncomfortable.

As was often the case for situations that made him uneasy, rather than express gratitude, he lashed out.

"Apparently you're much older than I thought, General," he said, trying his hardest to hold back the sniffles he felt tickling his nose. "Because I must have said to you at least 100 times now that I DON'T LIKE TEA, yet somehow you haven't HEARD me."

Instead of getting angry back, Hux actually smiled. 

"YOU must not have heard ME when I said that I didn't really care."

"You never said that."

"I was thinking it, though."

Hux picked up his papers and began reading different things to Ren, ignoring the latter's increasingly frequent sneezing and nose-blowing.

A knock on the door interrupted him, and Hux got up to answer it. A serving droid had brought the food he requested; a large steaming bowl of soup, a small pot of tea, and two cups.

Hux took the tray and brought it over to the table, setting it down carefully away from his papers. He poured each of them a cup of tea from the warm pot, adding a generous dollop of honey to Ren's.

"Here," he said, holding the cup out to him. "Drink."

Ren took the cup silently, pouting as he grasped the handle and brought it slowly to his lips. It actually smelled good, and the taste was rather pleasant, and sweet. Not that he'd let Hux know that.

The soup smelled good too, from where it still sat on the tray.

Too tired to lean down towards the table, Ren used the Force to set down his teacup and pull his bowl of soup towards him. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Hux watch him do this, frowning slightly.

"What are you staring at?" Ren asked him, taking a small sip of the soup.

"Nothing. It's just--that table is literally a few inches away from you. Using your 'magic' seems like a bit of overkill."

"Magic?" Ren repeated the word with disdain. "I'm not using 'magic'; you idiot. There's a scientific basis for what I can do."

Hux raised an eyebrow at Ren's words. "Yes, yes, I'm aware; midichlorians and all that. To those of us who aren't capable of your gifts, it looks rather like magic."

"I'm using the energy around me to influence my surroundings and put objects into motion. That's science."

"That bowl lifted itself into the air, with no one physically touching it, and came directly to your hands. You can explain the reasoning behind it all you want, Ren; my point is, to an outsider, it looks very much like magic."

Ren was silent for awhile, sipping his soup and watching Hux type into his datapad.

"You could use it, too, you know," Ren told him.

"Use what?"

"The Force."

"What do you mean?"

"The Force is present in everybody; some people are just more aware of it, or more receptive to it than others. It's actually a theory of mine that anyone could use it if they were properly taught, and concentrated hard enough."

"Two things about that, Ren; one, I severely doubt that, and two, I wouldn't want to 'use the Force' even if I could."

"Why not?"

"My life is complicated enough as it is. I don't need to add magic to it, my head would probably explode."

Ren looked at him, and without meaning to, his face broke into a wide smile.

"An exploded head sounds like an improvement over the one you have now."

Amazingly, instead of getting insulted, Hux began to laugh.

"As I said before, Ren, not all of us can have your gifts."

"What do you mean by that?" Ren asked him, confused.

"Nothing," Hux shrugged, looking back at his datapad. He hesitated, then said "Do you mind if I sit here a while longer? It's so quiet; and nobody suspects I'm here. I can get more work done when it's quiet and no one is pounding down my door to talk to me."

Ren looked at him and shrugged nonchalantly. "If you want," he said, continuing to sip at his soup.

The room was silent save for Ren's coughing and the click click click of Hux's datapad.

Normally such a quiet would make Ren feel a little uncomfortable, but that was not the case now. He felt very much at ease and relaxed, watching Hux and listening to his thoughts. Even Hux's thoughts were calm and methodical.

Ren wasn't quite aware of how tired he felt, or that his eyelids were drooping.

He was aware of waking up some time later, the room dark save for a small lamp by the door that had been turned on. Hux was gone, as were the dishes from earlier.

He was covered with a small blanket that had been draped over the back of a chair, and two of the small pillows from the opposite end of the couch had been placed underneath his head.

He laid still for a few minutes longer before getting up and walking into his bunk room. Too tired to undress or even get under the covers, he merely threw himself across his bunk and slept like that for the rest of the night.


	4. Chapter 4

"Sometimes I wish I wasn't here anymore. I don't mean here as in, at this base. I mean here as in this world. The physical world. I feel too much pain, I feel too much of everything, so strongly. I'm strong but it's as though every time I make it to the surface, the waves push my head underwater and I'm struggling for breath again. I just want it to end. I've tried speaking to my Master on this, but the result of that was worse than if I had just kept my pain to myself. He's fanatical about the idea of losing me, even to myself. I'm just not sure what to do anymore. How can you escape what's in your own head? How do I make the voices, the pain, the anger stop?"

The black helmet glinted in the lights of the room, staring back at him with a kind of indifference.

Silence.

"Please, grandfather. I need your guidance. You are the only one who could possibly understand what I'm going through."

Silence.

A thought came into Ren's mind, so strongly that it was almost as if someone else put it there.

"My--mother?", he spoke into the quiet room, rubbing his temples.

"What does she have to do with anything? She never cared about me; if she had, she would never have sent me away to Luke."

Silence.

"Grandfather," he said angrily, rising up from where he was kneeled on the floor, "Why would you have me think of my mother? Forgive me, but you're wrong. She WOULDN'T understand, and going back to her WOULDN'T take the pain away."

Silence.

"No, it's too late. Even if I could walk away from everything, she wouldn't want me back. Not after--not after what I did."

The worst part was that he could still feel it, as strongly as he had felt it when it actually happened.

The shock, the horror. The intense pain. The worry for never making things right with Leia. 

And worst of all: the love.

The thick blanket of love and devotion towards his only son, his pride, the greatest accomplishment of his life.

The love that stayed even as he fell backwards into the abyss, losing consciousness on the way down, until there was no spirit left in smooth-talking pilot who could fix anything, go anywhere, do anything.

Ren cupped a hand to his cheek, vaguely surprised to find that it was wet with tears. He could still feel the imprint of his father's fingers, as they had gently cupped his face in forgiveness.

Forgiveness.

He whirled around and tore his lightsaber from his belt. 

Turning it on, he slashed into the walls, the floors, the sofa and the chair. He cut through the table, the conservator, and the refresher.

He cut through everything until all was a heaping, smoking pile of indistinguishable remains.

The only thing that remained untouched was his bed, with its heavy blankets and soft pillows.

And, of course, Grandfather.

Heaving, holding his blade in his hand, he came face to face with the now-jagged mirror that hung across the far wall.

He took in his pale skin, his dark eyes. The beauty of the red light that the saber threw against the walls.

He turned his head and contemplated his reflection, watching as the figure in the glass slowly brought the saber up and over his own head.

He held it there, hands shaking, trying to steel himself to go through with it this time.

And stopped.

And turned the saber off, clipping it back into his belt.

Coward, he thought to himself.

He pulled on his mask and strode out of his quarters, noticing the small group of personnel that had converged quite close to his door during the melee. 

He ignored them and continued down the corridor, on his way to yet another day of training with his Master.


	5. Chapter 5

Ren stepped through his door and stopped, staring at his sofa.

At first he was confused, thinking that somehow he must have entered the wrong quarters. But he couldn't have, because there was grandfather in the corner, seemingly taking in the scene with as much confusion as Ren.

There was a woman sitting on his sofa.

Looking at her, Ren replayed the conversation between him and the Supreme Leader days before.

At the time they had just finished training, and Snoke was scolding him on his inability to focus.

" . . . . only simulation, but what if I had been an actual opponent, Lord Ren? You would have been killed!"

"I'm sorry, my Master," Ren had replied listlessly, in truth not caring much one way or another for Snoke's words or his critique.

He had still been in that same depressive state, unable to shake it off. His firmer enthusiasm for his training had been replaced by a kind of lethargic apathy.

In truth, he had been secretly hoping that Snoke would become irate with the clear lack of effort he was putting into his training, and end his life himself.

Not that that would happen, of course.

But Ren could still dream that it might.

Snoke knew of Ren's feelings and his mindset, but was at a loss for how to bring his apprentice back into the realm of the living.

"Ren," he began, placing his hand on the young man's shoulder. "I've been thinking that perhaps you are in need of some sort of . . . release, for lack of a better term. Some sort of tool to help you physically relieve some of the tension I can feel building inside of you."

Ren looked at his master cautiously, not quite sure where this conversation was heading.

"Master?", he asked, tilting his head. "What do you mean?"

Snoke had smiled, briefly tightening his hand on Ren's shoulder before letting go.

"Trust me, my apprentice. I know what's in your best interests. I'm going to have a gift of sorts delivered to your quarters within a few days. Something to ease you. Now, you may go."

That had been days ago, and now Ren could see for himself just exactly what Snoke had meant by a "gift", and "release".

The woman sat timidly on the edge of his sofa, her hands pulling at the fringes of the skimpy dress. Ren's quarters were always cold, and the little bit of clothing she had on didn't help her in that regard. She was shivering just slightly, small goosebumps standing out alongside the freckles on her pale arms and shoulders.

Ren looked at her, completely unsure of what to say or do.

Moving as if in a dream, he watched himself walk over to her and sit next to her. As hard as she tried not to, she flinched slightly away from him, clearly afraid of this tall, darkly clad mask wearing-man.

My mask, he thought to himself. I'm probably scaring her.

He pulled it off of his head and set it down on the table, still not looking at her as he self-consciously fluffed the edges of his hair.

While he did this, her thoughts hit him in a quiet wave.

Oh! I thought maybe the mask meant he was ugly underneath, but wow, he's quite handsome. Very handsome. Maybe this won't be as bad as I thought., she had been thinking.

"What's your name?", he asked, wincing as he noticed how unnaturally loud his voice sounded in the quiet room. He lowered it, forcing himself to speak more normally before continuing, "My name is Kylo."

Which was probably stupid, to say.

She obviously had to know that already.

Nevertheless he responded to his unexpected politeness with a small smile, some of the uneasy tenseness going out of her posture. She turned more fully towards him and looked up into his face.

"My name is Hannah."

"Hannah," he repeated, smiling at her. "I like that name, it's very pretty."

"Thank you, my Lord."

"No," he said, shaking his head. "No 'my Lord'; please just call me Kylo."

"Alright then; thank you, Kylo."

The two fell silent, not really certain of what to say or how to proceed in the conversation.

"So I assume you're the one Snoke told me he'd send to entertain me?" Ren blurted out, not thinking about how awkward that sounded.

Hannah nodded, looking down at her hands folded in her lap. 

"Are you, er, I mean, is this your 'profession'?" he asked her gently, carefully looking her over. 

She had a very slender figure, and she was short in stature, almost doll-like compared to the towering height of Ren himself. She had bright blue eyes and very long brownish-red hair. There was a thick application of powder and lip coloring over her face, obviously intended to make her appear more mature. Yet despite all this, to Ren she seemed very young. And innocent.

"It is, my Lord. I mean, Kylo," she corrected herself, blushing.

"How old are you?"

Her face turned even redder as she answered. "I'm not entirely sure. I believe that I am at least 15, though."

She shook her head as if to clear it, and the look on her face told Ren she was steeling herself up to take action.

She scooted closer to him, trying to control her shaking arms as she moved her hands to Ren's waist, timidly gripping his belt buckle.

"How about we get started?", she asked, in a voice that she meant to sound seductive but in reality just sounded nervous, and scared.

Ren gently took her hands away from his belt and moved them back into her own lap, dropping them there.

"Can I ask you something first?"

It was obvious that she was here to do one thing, and had not been prepared for this man to take an interest in her that wasn't purely sexual, or for him to ask her questions about herself.

The question was jerked out of him; he couldn't help himself.

"If you're only 15, what in the hells are you doing, doing something like THIS?"

She bit her lower lip before she answered, looking down at the floor.

"My father sold me last year to a man who was seeking another wife, in the outer rim territories. The man was nice but he had two other wives, both much older than myself, and they didn't like me. They were cruel to me when he was gone. So I ran away, and was captured by a man who buys and sells pleasure slaves. I was traded until an agent from your First Order purchased me and brought me here. I was told that I was to be given to a Lord Ren."

Ren closed his eyes momentarily in disgust. Try as he did to be a ruthless individual who disregarded the feelings of others, the truth was he often had a very soft spot within him for helpless creatures. 

This woman, no, this child sitting next to him was indeed helpless.

He knew that Snoke felt that Ren having someone that could provide him with physical gratification would alleviate his depression and increasing apathy, and in all honesty she WAS quite attractive, but this wasn't going to work.

He did not feel temped by this young girl; he felt appalled. Not by the girl herself but what she represented.

Yet he didn't know how to say this without hurting her feelings.

"I understand. You won't hurt my feelings."

She said this calmly, quietly, now looking directly at him with her large blue eyes.

"Excuse me?", he asked, a bit startled.

"I said, you won't hurt my feelings. That's what you were thinking, wasn't it?"

"It was," he said, still in that same disbelieving tone. "You could pick up on my thoughts?"

"Yes."

He was intrigued. Clearly Hannah was Force-sensitive, and completely unaware of it. The Supreme Leader must not have met her at all after sending his agent to buy her and bring her to Ren's quarters, or else he would have picked up on that immediately.

Something that Ren himself should have been able to do.

He frowned, looking at her carefully once more. Slowly, he said, "You appear to be somewhat Force-sensitive, Hannah."

"'Force-sensitive?', she repeated, her delicate eyebrows knitting together in confusion. "I had always thought that was a myth; the Force, or being able to use it."

Ren smiled, and he stretched out his hand towards his table. Slowly he lifted it into the air, spinning it in circles before lowering it once more to the ground. The girl watched this with wide eyes, clearly fascinated.

"The Force is real, Hannah, and it's all around us. Some people are more receptive to it than others, and when properly trained, they can utilize and manifest that power."

An idea was forming in his head, and despite himself, for the first time in a very long time, he actually felt excited.

"Would you be interested in learning how to use your gift?"

"That's a bit irrelevant, isn't it?" she said, laughing softly to herself. "Learning how to use magic is not exactly something a pleasure slave should be well versed in."

Ren closed his eyes, taking a deep breath before saying, somewhat gruffly, "Its not 'magic', its science. But we'll get to that later, I suppose."

He stood abruptly, grabbing his mask from the table. 

"I will return shortly. In the meantime, make yourself comfortable here, Hannah. If you are hungry, there is a small button right there," he said, pointing to a dial on the wall, "That will connect you with a service droid. You speak to it, tell them what you'd like to eat, and the droid will prepare the food and deliver it to you. If you're tired, please feel free to take a nap; there are extra blankets in the closet in the hall, and pillows, if you'd like to make yourself comfortable here on the sofa. I'll return shortly," he repeated.

He pulled on his helmet and left the room, leaving the surprised girl looking after him in a stunned silence. 

He was heading towards the chambers of Supreme Leader Snoke, his enthusiasm giving life to his usually weary feet and carrying him there speedily.

He rounded a corner and ran straight into General Hux. The force of impact knocked the General back several feet, and he glared at Ren as he brushed off his great coat.

"Sorry", Ren muttered as he stepped around him and continued down the hall, impatient to reach Snoke.

Before he got much farther away, Hux called out after him, "I see your little 'present' has put a spring in your step already."

Ren stopped and turned back around, facing Hux.

"What do you mean by that?"

The General folded his arms and stepped closer, looking at Ren with a small smile on his face.

"I must say, that was fast, Ren. Faster than I expected; I only saw them bring that woman to your quarters about an hour ago. You don't waste time, do you?"

Ren tilted his head, staring at Hux. Something was off about the situation. He seemed almost angry. More than angry; almost . . . jealous.

But of what?

If Hux wanted 'company' like that, he could quite easily arrange it for himself. His lieutenant's did it quite frequently, and nobody ever thought anything of it; it was just something that happened.

So why did Hux seem jealous of Ren's sudden 'gift' from Snoke?

Although Hux couldn't see this through Ren's mask, Ren had narrowed his eyes into a dark glare.

He stepped closer to Hux, folding his own arms across his chest as he began to speak.

"First of all, General, you shouldn't assume that you know me so well, me or my proclivities. Second, what you refer to as a 'woman' is in reality no more than a shy, scared young girl. GIRL. She's not out of her teens yet! Whoever Snoke sent to retrieve her for me clearly needs you to requisition him new eyeballs."

"And lastly," he continued, gritting his teeth, "Why in the hells do YOU care, anyway? Whether I had relations with the girl or not should really be none of your concern, and certainly not your place to speak to me about it."

With that he turned and continued down the hall, his thoughts scattering in a thousand places and his pace considerably slower.

A thought had formed in his mind, watching Hux's face as he spoke to him, and he wasn't quite sure of how to take it.

But it was THERE. And wouldn't leave.

Hux had not been jealous of Ren's receiving the girl.

He had been jealous of the girl herself, and her perceived relations with Ren.

But . . . why?

You must be imagining that, Ren, he thought to himself as he walked. That makes no sense whatsoever.

He forced the thought away from his brain as he reached Snoke's chambers, waiting for the guards to permit him to enter.


	6. Chapter 6

"Are you positive you want to do this?"

"Of course, Master. This is something I'll have to learn someday as well, correct?"

"Yes. And I told you not to call me Master."

"Calling you by your first name feels wrong."

Ren rolled his eyes beneath his mask, unable to help smiling just a bit.

Ren and Hannah were on board Ren's personal ship, en route to Anoat. 

Snoke was sending him to interrogate one of the First Order's officers that oversaw procedures at the small station there. Snoke had received intelligence that this man was providing enemies with documents detailing F.O. combat procedures and weapon schematics.

They were to arrive unannounced and catch the officer in question completely off-guard.

Hannah had sneakily asked Snoke for permission to accompany Ren on this mission, and he had agreed before Ren could offer his opinion on the situation.

If it had been up to him, Hannah would have remained safely back at the base.

Ren had been more than a little   
Surprised when Snoke had, albeit cautiously, agreed to let Ren take Hannah on as his pupil, to teach her the ways of the Force. He had sent Hannah to him as a sexual gift, and did not expect Ren's involvement with her to go beyond the purely physical.

Ren had brought Hannah before Snoke so that he could see for himself that she was strong with the Force. Ren could sense that his Master was both impressed with the girl, and relieved that Ren had found something to help shake his depression; even if it wasn't via the way Snoke had intended it to go.

Ren's days were filled afterwards, keeping him pleasantly busy and unable to spend so much time trapped in his thoughts.

His days usually began by meditation with Snoke, followed by intensive lightsaber and mental training.

When they were finished, they would meditate once more, with Snoke guiding Ren and helping him to shape his daily lessons and training for Hannah.

There were at least 3 days of any given week, however, when Ren could do none of this; instead being sent on either diplomatic or interrogational missions by Snoke, or the occasional planetary raid.

Regarding the last of these situations, he was almost always sent alongside General Hux, who always kept a level head in the face of Ren's pillage and murder mentality. Ren would get himself so worked up during raids that he would have villages burned and bodies blasted before first obtaining the intel or resources they needed to get. It was Hux who reminded him of their objectives and temporarily curbed Ren's murderous rampages.

The situation that Ren, Hannah, and the Stormtroopers were about to walk into now was not a raid; but it would possibly turn violent nonetheless.

At least, violent on Ren's part.

If the man was guilty, Ren would be forced to kill him, as well as anyone who he found to be aiding him in his treason. If a fight ensued, it could turn dangerous.

Hannah was quite proficient with a lightsaber, and she had just recently built her own. Yet she had never had any one on one combat with anyone other than her practice fights with Ren, and he worried at the possibility of her getting injured or killed.

Which was why he would rather that she'd stayed back home, rather than accompany him on this mission.

Ren knew that he was sheltering Hannah far too much, but he couldn't help it. She was his pupil, and was rapidly becoming a friend, as well. 

The other reason for his not wanting her here was a bit more odd, but not completely unreasonable.

Up until today, Hannah had not seen the dark, angry side of him. He had patiently explained to her about how and why accessing ones pain and anger made one more powerful. He had even gotten her to tap into the wellspring of her bad memories regarding her former life and family, and to use those aggressive, negative feelings during their lightsaber and combat training.

Yet she still had not seen that side of him; that cold, vicious, ruthless demeanor that put chills into the hearts of people near and far.

To her, he had been nothing but sweet, and gentle. 

She had even asked him, one time, as they were walking along the corridor together,

"Why did those Stormtroopers do that?"

"Do what?", he had asked, confused.

"Move away from you like that. When we came around the curve all of them jumped backwards. And their minds were jumbled and intense."

Ren shrugged as they continued walking. He was used to that reaction, and had ceased to think much of it. Only when an outsider pointed it out (like now) did he even notice it.

"They're scared of me."

"Scared?", she had repeated, looking confused. "Why would they be scared of you?"

Ren had only sighed and kept walking, not really knowing how to answer her question. 

They had continued along quietly before she had hit him with another question. 

"Why does the General look at you how he does?"

Ren had turned towards her, interested. "What do you mean?"

"I don't know how to describe it, exactly. Like--it's as though he's looking at you with his eyes closed, if that makes sense. As if--as if he doesn't WANT to look, but can't help himself."

Ren thought about that, not really sure what to think. He noticed that Hannah was looking at him curiously, waiting for a response. So he tried to shrug it off nonchalantly.

"Perhaps he's scared of me, too," he said lightly. They had reached the door of her quarters, and he waited to see her safely inside.

"That's not it, though," she said thoughtfully, staring up into his mask. "His feelings are very unclear. Confused. Whatever it is, I can't quite put my finger on it. But it's almost like he--"

"You must be tired, Hannah. We've had a busy day after all," he had interrupted her smoothly. 

She sensed that he didn't wish to speak on it anymore, so she just shrugged her shoulders a little and sighed. "You're right, I AM tired. What time do you want to start in the morning?"

"Early. I need to meditate. I'll come by for you around 0600."

"Okay. I'll be ready, Master."

"I told you not to--"

"I know, I know," she said, as she stood on her tiptoes to kiss his mask. "Goodnight, Kylo."

"Goodnight, Hannah," he replied, waiting for her doors to close before turning and striding down the hall to his own quarters.

That conversation had been weeks ago, and she still had not seen that other side of him.

More likely than not, she would today.

The ship landed on the long ramp of the small station, and from the windows Ren could see the group of personnel scattering about trying to get into formation to greet him.

They had recognized the insignia on Ren's shuttle, and knew that it was Lord Ren having come personally to pay them a visit. Even while still on board the ship Ren could feel the blanket of fear and confusion that were emanating from the small crowd below.

He sent his Stormtroopers to line the ramp for his entrance, watching as they filed uniformly out of the craft and into the ground below.

He turned towards Hannah, searching her face.

"Are you sure you wouldn't like to stay on the ship?"

Hannah rolled her eyes, standing up and grabbing Ren'a mask from where it sat on the table between them. She held it out to him with a little grin.

"Let's go."

Seeing that she would not be dissuaded, he sighed as he pulled the mask over his head.

"Hannah," he said in his mechanized voice, as he prepared to exit the ship. "I want you to listen to me. If things go bad, if blasterfire erupts, you are to go back to the ship and stay there until it's over. If something happened to ME, if I died, you are not to come after me. Salvage what troopers you can and have the pilot take you back to the base. Is that understood?"

"Yes," she replied, her eyes taking on a wary look as perhaps for the first time she took in the seriousness of the situation. "I understand."

Ren was being overly dramatic, and he knew that. Yet he'd rather be over the top protective than nothing at all.

They exited the ship into a realm of pure silence. Nobody moved, nobody seemed to breath as Ren made his approach to where the man in question, Captain Robdel, stood. 

He could feel the fear reeling through the man's pores, and as always, that made him smile.

No one moved or spoke for the space of a few seconds, and then the Captain was hastily bowing before Ren, saying,

"Greetings, my Lord. I must say this is an unexpected surprise."

Ren nodded, before stepping closer to the man. His eyes widened at Ren's intimidating figure, but still he made no moves.

"Captain. I have a small matter on which I wish to speak to you."

"Of course," he replied quickly. "Come, let us go to my office."

Ren ordered two of his troopers to follow them, walking on either side of Hannah, who kept a small distance behind Ren, as the group made its way to the Captain's office.

Once inside, Ren ordered his troopers to stand outside the door. He closed it behind them, leaving only himself, Robdel, and Hannah in the small room.

Slowly, Ren began to detail all of the intel that Snoke had received regarding enemy factions having a shocking amount of information about F.O. business.

"It would seem, Captain, that the information they are receiving is coming directly from this facility. More specifically, from YOU. Any idea why this is?"

The Captain swallowed hard, once, twice, at a loss for words. 

"My Lord, I am certain that I know nothing of this."

Ren rose up from his seat, towering over the man. 

"Certain? I hope so, Captain. I despise being lied to."

The man was about to protest again, when Ren raised his hand, cutting off his air supply. The man's hands went to his throat, fingers desperately clutching. Just before the man would lose consciousness, Ren released his hold, slamming the Captain's body flung back into the wall.

As he crumpled to the floor, Ren walked over to him and crouched down. He held out his hand and pulled information from his mind.

He HAD been aiding F.O. enemies.

Ren shook his head and sighed.

He glanced back at Hannah, to see her reaction to all this. She was watching the scene with a kind of calm, studious interest.

She was wearing a flowing black cloak covering a dark gray tunic. Her boots glinted in the sunlight from the window, her long luxuriant hair tied carefully on top of her head. A few wisps hung loosely over her face, which looked impossibly young, and extraordinarily beautiful. 

She was standing quietly, using her feelings to scope out the situation around her. She was scared, but she was controlling her fear and remaining level headed and focused.

Ren was proud of her.

He turned back towards the Captain now, and drew out his lightsaber. He turned it on, admiring the strong bloody glow it threw against the stark walls of the room.

He held the flaming blade inches from the Captains throat.

"Do you still wish to tell me that your hands are clean in this matter?"

"My Lord, I swear I don't know what--"

He blade of Ren's saber cut through Robdel's neck, ending his protests.

Ren stepped over him and to his desk, drawing out a piece of pale and writing down the names of those who had aided Robdel, putting it in his robe pocket.

He turned around and faced Hannah, wondering what her reaction was going to be after having seen him just murder somebody.

She had not lost her calm demeanor, although Ren could sense she was brimming with questions about what he had just done, and how.

"Later, Hannah," he answered out loud, smiling to himself. "Force-pulling is something I will teach you in time, once you've become stronger. Right now, we have several other men to visit at this facility."

She nodded her head, respectfully. 

"Let's go."

'''''''''''

"My Master, here are the records which indicate how and when Robdel communicated with enemy factions. It details everything, including who helped him in his treason."

"Very good, my apprentice," Snoke said, taking the papers and looking them over. "This indicates a bigger breach than I had thought. I assume you properly took care of the perpetrators?"

"Yes, my Master."

Snoke peered around Ren to where Hannah was standing quietly behind him.

"Come closer, young Hannah."

Hannah stepped around Ren and approached Snoke, eyes cast respectfully to the floor.

Snoke put out his hand and tapped into her memories of the day, smiling to himself.

"You disposed of one of the officers yourself?"

"Yes, Supreme Leader."

Snoke slowly went over her memories of the event, arching an eyebrow at how calm and controlled she had been. She had even been able to freeze the man into place beforehand, something she and Ren had worked on in the past but had never quite perfected.

Until now, apparently.

"Most impressive, young one. It appears Ren was correct that you would be a powerful addition to the First Order."

"Thank you, Supreme Leader," she replied, humbly bowing her head.

"You are both to be commended on a successful mission. However now I have much to talk over with my advisory council. You may both leave."

Both bowed once more before him, before turning and leaving the room.

He walked her to her quarters before leaving, striding along and vaguely thinking of ordering food to his quarters, when Hux appeared in front of him.

He was some distance away, his back turned from Ren as he conversed with one of his officers.

Ren walked silently up behind him, waiting for them to finish talking before clearing his throat, alerting Hux to his presence.

Hux looked startled, as he had not heard Ren's silent gliding approach.

"Ah. It's you. How did your mission go?"

"As well as can be expected. I was forced to kill over 20 people."

"THAT many people were in on this?", Hux asked worriedly.

"Yes."

Hux pulled out his datapad and began typing into it. "I should have a security and safety update meeting with my officers sometime this week. Then I need to--"

Ren put his hand over Hux's datapad, keeping his from typing. In doing so his fingers accidentally brushed against Hux's. Both men were wearing gloves, yet Ren could almost, almost sense that some small electric tingle had passed between them nonetheless.

Looking at Hux, Ren knew he had felt it, too.

He hastily took his fingers away, feeling his face turn red underneath his helmet.

He cleared his throat once more, and said "I think maybe that can wait until tomorrow, General. Right now, I'm hungry. I know it's late, and you've probably already eaten in the mess already; but. Would you want to come there with me? Maybe talk to me while I eat?"

Hux looked at him, and suddenly his stern expression was flooded out with a smile. 

An actual smile.

"I haven't eaten at all today, actually."

"Why does that not surprise me?"

Hux ignored him, continuing. "Anyway, yes, I'm hungry too. Let's go."

The two headed down to Mess together, talking and laughing the entire way.


	7. Chapter 7

His heart was pounding, hard, so hard that he found himself wondering if he was going to pass out.

He walked across the room and leaned heavily against the wall. One arm was folded across his chest, hugging himself. The other had his hand to his lips, absently tracing across them. 

Hux had just kissed him.

He had come to Ren's quarters earlier in the evening, to discuss an upcoming raid that Snoke was sending the two of them on within a few days.

They had been sitting next to each other on the sofa, looking over the papers in Hux's lap.

"Do you feel all right?", Ren had asked him, glancing over at Hux suspiciously. 

The redhead's face was flushed, and fine beads of sweat stood out at the edge of his hairline. He seemed nervous, and was fidgeting quite hard.

"What do you mean?"

"Do you FEEL okay? You don't look so well. Are you ill?"

"No, I'm not ill."

"Well, something's wrong, Hux. You look as though you're going to hit the floor in a second. Should I call for someone to take you to med bay?", he had asked, beginning to stand.

"No, no I'm fine," Hux insisted, pulling on Ren's arm to get him to sit back down.

Ren sat, but Hux still did not let go of his arm. His gloved hand had tightened around it, shaking slightly.

"Hux--what are you doing? Let go of me!"

"I, uh, there's something I want to tell you, Ren."

Ren's eyes had widened and he tilted his head, looking at him. The General was acting stranger than normal, and his behavior was making Ren nervous.

And he still had not let go of Ren's arm.

"Okay?", Ren asked, staring at him. "What is it?"

"First of all, when I tell you, do you promise not to, I don't know, use your magic on me? Like choke me or anything like that?"

"Science. And yes, I suppose. What IS it?", he repeated, curiosity eating him up.

Hux hadn't answered; instead, he had grabbed hold of Ren's other arm as well and swiftly pulled the knight towards him. 

Before Ren could properly assess what was happening, Hux had kissed him, hard, on the mouth.

He could still feel the warmth of Hux's mouth, now, and the tingle.

"Why--why did you do that?"

It was a stupid thing to say, but it seemed to be the only sentence his brain could eke out.

Hux looked him directly in the eye, and Ren could almost swear he heard Hux's heart thumping as well, as he answered,

"I'm attracted to you, Ren. Very much so. I have been for a long time, now."

When Ren said nothing, Hux sighed and continued,

"Look. Maybe I shouldn't have done that, I should have waited for a better time, but, forgive me, I'm not very experienced with things of this nature. With--with 'romantic' things."

"I'm not really sure what to say, Hux. This is very sudden, and, coming from you, entirely unexpected."

"I know, I know, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything. I shouldn't have DONE that. We have a professional relationship that needs to stay in tact here, and I can't damage it with something as ludicrous as my personal feelings."

Hux was rising from his seat, beginning to pull his coat back on. He looked sad, and very embarrassed.

Ren waved his hand, silently ordering him to sit back down.

Hux sat and kept his head hung, eyes on his hands in his lap.

Ren was unsure of what to say, or do. His feelings on this matter were both strong, and confused.

"I thought you hated me."

Again, it was a stupid thing to say, but Ren's brain was still partially shut-down with shock.

Hux shrugged his shoulders, still not looking at him.

"I do. But I don't. I don't know how to describe it, Ren, not even to myself. But the fact remains that I'm attracted to you. I just AM. And I can't properly explain why."

"Hux. I think what you define as 'attraction' has a purely physical connotation. Which is fine, there's nothing wrong with that. But if that's the case, there are multiple attractive individuals in the First Order. Men and women. You'd have no problems finding a person better than, and certainly more congenial than, myself."

For the first time, Hux looked at him.

"I'm aware of that, Ren. And you're right, there are. But those people, aren't YOU. YOU stand out from everybody else for me, and again, I'm not quite sure why. And it's not just physical, you ignoramus. I'm not that shallow. It's ALL of you."

Ren took a deep breath, pulling the air all the way down to his toes. He wasn't sure what, if anything, he was going to say.

He heard the words spill out before he had time to think about them.

"I'm attracted to you, too."

Hux had a timid smile on his face, the tips of his ears and the back of his neck going a rosy pink as he replied "Really?"

"Really."

Heart pounding again, Ren slowly slid off the sofa and knelt down beside Hux. He reached up and took his face between his hands. His long fingers caressed over Hux's soft skin. He leaned up and gently pressed his lips into Hux's, marveling at how sweet they tasted, how warm.

And then Hux was pulling away and laughing, laughing quite hard.

Ren scowled. "What's so kriffing funny?!"

Hux wiped tears from his eyes, leaning back in the sofa.

"It's just--I can't believe how absurd this entire thing is. Here, look at this."

He pulled a folded square of paper from his pocket, handing it to Ren. Ren took it and opened it, still pouting.

It was Hux's handwritten itinerary for the day, and looking at it, Ren could understand Hux's laughter better.

0500: Patrol east and west sectors  
0515: TELL REN  
O600: Patrol north and south sectors  
0615: TELL REN  
0700: Tea, prep for Meeting 1  
0730: TELL REN  
0800: First Meeting (Budget)  
0815: STOP DAYDREAMING ABOUT REN  
0900: End Meeting 1, visit drill grounds  
0930: TELL REN YOU IDIOT  
1000: Meeting 2  
1130: FOR MAKERS SAKE, TELL REN YOU KRIFFING IDIOT  
1230: Tea

The list went on and on like that. Each "tell Ren" was written in capital letters, in a different colored pen than the rest of the list. The very last "tell Ren" had small hearts drawn around Ren's name, at 2130.

Ren felt himself blushing, totally unable to help it. 

He glanced at the clock on his wall. Gruffly, he cleared his throat and said,

"It's 2115, General. You're ahead of schedule."

And then both men burst out laughing, Hux still on the sofa and Ren still knelt in front of him.

And it felt good, laughing.

Ren was the first to stop, and he looked at the man sitting in front of him.

"So, I'm not really good at this sort of thing, either. The, uh, 'romantic' thing. We'll have to help each other out. Do I kiss you again, or what?"

"Yes, you moron."

They moved backwards into Ren's sofa and kissed for a good long while, each surprised at how natural it felt, and how GOOD.

Eventually they pulled away, breathing hard, still entwined in each other's arms.

"I should probably go," Hux said reluctantly, not sounding at all as if he wanted to. "I've got an early day tomorrow."

"Yeah, so do I," Ren replied, removing himself from Hux's embrace and straightening his robes. "I'm training Hannah to Force-pull tomorrow. Or we're going to start, anyway."

"That sounds interesting. I'd like to hear more about it."

"You can--come here, tomorrow, if you want? After your last meeting? We can eat and talk and stuff."

"I'd like that," Hux replied, smiling at him. 

Hux stood up, straightening his rumpled clothes and putting his coat back on.

They walked to Ren's door, and paused there, each unsure of what to say.

Then Ren leaned over and warmly kissed Hux's cheek.

"I have a question."

"Yes?"

"What's your schedule going to look like tomorrow?"


	8. Chapter 8

"Ren? What in the world are you DOING?"

Hux had come to visit Ren after his shift on the bridge, early one evening. He hasn't seen Ren all day, as he had been busy training Hannah.

Hux really liked Hannah. He couldn't think of a better person for Ren to spend so much time with. She was an incredibly smart, eager young girl, who was apparently a quick learner.

It seemed as though any time Hux came to see Ren, he had a new story to tell him about something he and Hannah had learned or practiced that day.

When he spoke of the girl, a kind of glow came into his eyes that Hux could never remember seeing in him before. In all the years that he had known Ren, worked with him, he had never seen him actually enthusiastic, or excited about what the days held for him.

He spoke of the girl the way some parents spoke of their children; with pride, worry and affection.

He probably would have made a good father, Hux often thought to himself. As brutal as he can be, as vicious, and as angry as he sometimes got, he was also quite kind, and nurturing.

And, whether Ren himself was aware of this or not, the girl adored him back.

She hung on every word of his teachings, and did her best to please and impress him, the way one would their father.

Hux didn't know this, and Ren was only vaguely aware of it, as the girl had a naturally strong mental shield, but deep down Hannah considered Ren to be the family she never had.

She was still in disbelief that the man she had been given to as a sex slave had not only liberated her from that lifestyle, but had taken enough of an interest in her to help her develop her powers in the Force. She felt that she owed him her life, and tried her hardest to be a good pupil, and a good friend.

Hux had come over now, expecting Ren to be waiting for him like he always did, waiting to tell him another of his and Hannah's daily accomplishments.

Instead he found Ren standing in the middle of the room, his arms shaking at his sides, his eyes crossed from staring at the tip of his nose.

"What are you DOING?" Hux repeated warily, staring at him.

"There's a spider on my face," Ren said quietly, his voice choked with fear.

"No there's not."

"Yes, there is. I felt it moving! Quick, come get it off of me!"

"For Maker's sake, why can't YOU just do it?!"

"Because if I move at all, it'll get scared and crawl into my nostrils."

Hux didn't know whether to laugh, or be disgusted.

"Ren, that's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard in my life. Come here, then, and let me see."

Ren heard Hux, but felt paralyzed, unable to move one way or the other. It if was one thing in the entire galaxy that he was really, truly afraid of, it was the insidious creatures called spiders.

Hux sighed irritably and marched over to him, peering intently at his face.

After a moment, Hux began to laugh. He reached out with his gloved fingers and plucked something small from underneath Ren's nose, just above his lips.

"Honestly, Ren, sometimes I question your eyesight. It's a piece of your HAIR, you idiot!"

Ren scowled as he felt his face heat up in a blush. "It was walking across my face!"

Hux dropped the tiny piece to the floor before coming closer to Ren. 

"No, it wasn't. It was falling and your breathing made it seem like it was moving."

Ren said nothing, his face now so hot it felt as though it were on fire. He pulled his hood up over his head and slouched over to a chair, his lips curling into a pout.

Hux hesitated, then came and sat on the arm of the chair, taking one of Ren's hands in his own.

"You're an entertaining man to be around, did you know that?"

"Yes," Ren snapped at him, still embarrassed. "YOU'RE a JERK to be around, did YOU know THAT?"

"I did, actually.", Hux replied with a grin. He slid off the arm of the chair and sat on Ren's legs, straddling him. He put both arms around his shoulders and kissed the tip of his nose.

"Did you also know that you're devastatingly attractive?", he asked Ren, leaning in to kiss his neck.

Ren shivered involuntarily, before using his arms to try and push Hux away. "You must have been drinking today," he muttered to the redhead.

He had succeeded in getting Hux to stop kissing his neck; however, instead of stopping entirely, the General merely moved his lips from Ren's neck to nibble at the lobe of his ear.

"Why would you think that?", he whispered into it, continue to nibble and blow warm breath into the little space.

Kriff, Ren thought to himself. If he doesn't stop that and get off of me . . .

"Because I'm not attractive," he answered out loud, goosebumps breaking out in a forest over his arms. 

"No?", Hux questioned him with a smirk. "Maybe 'attractive' isn't the right word, then. Maybe it's 'sexy'." 

He grabbed one of Ren's hands and took the tip of his finger into his mouth. He gently sucked on the digit, his tongue swirling across it lightly. The sensation shot through Ren's entire body, settling most strongly in his loins. He groaned slightly and shifted his legs, hoping to hide his growing excitement from Hux. 

Hux felt it anyway, of course, and purposefully shifted his own hips hard across Ren's lap. At the same time he bit down lightly on Ren's finger. Ren let out a little gasp, his eyes rolling back in his head a bit.

Hux leaned up and whispered into his ear, 

"It seems like you're in pain. Do you want me to stop?"

Ren couldn't answer, he could only shake his head No.

Hux sat up and pulled off his gloves with his teeth, never breaking eye contact with Ren. He dropped them one at a time to the floor.

He began to undress the frozen knight, tugging at his robes until they were loose enough to pull over his head. He reached down and unbuckled Ren's belt, pulling it off and dropping it down besides his own gloves. He pushed Rens pants down just to his knees, exposing him.

"Look at how excited you are," he drawled into his ear. Leaving his top on, he stood up and slowly removed his own pants, kicking them off and adding them to the small pile of clothes.

He sat back down on Ren and ground himself down on to Ren's hard length, grimacing slightly, as always, as he adjusted to the size.

When he was all the way down, Ren let out a loud moan, and Hux clapped his hand over his mouth.

"You're way too loud, Ren; you'll have everybody standing outside the door!"

He kept his hand over Rens mouth as he ground his hips up and down slowly, teasing Ren with minimal friction.

"Do you like this?"

Ren nodded, his breath coming harshly against Hux's hand. 

"If I move my hand, do you promise to be quiet?", Hux asked, moving slightly faster.

Ren nodded again, and Hux took his hand away from his mouth. He put both arms around the Knights shoulders and continued to push himself unto Ren, his own eyes rolling back in his head as he increased the tempo.

Ren bit down hard on his lip to keep from making noises. He reached down with one hand and grabbed Hux, his hand quickly moving up and down the hard shaft.

Hux moaned loudly, this time, seeming to forget his earlier noise warning to Ren as little grunts and cries escaped his lips.

Pressure was building up in Ren's thighs, threatening to spill over with each jerk of Hux's hips.

"H-hux . . " he squeaked out, trying his hardest to hold back the shriek he felt rumbling up his throat.

Hux jerked up hard one last time as Ren finally exploded, apparently hitting his own orgasm at the same time. He quickly leaned over and pressed their lips together to stifle their cries, pleasure so indescribable that it was nearly agony.

Hux sat still on his lap when it was over, slightly sweaty and leaning heavily against him.

Neither man spoke for a while as they caught their breath. After awhile, Hux said, tiredly,

"We're a mess."

Ren looked at him and smiled. He kissed him softly on the lips before asking,

"Do you mean physically, or emotionally?"

"Well, probably both," Hux answered him, wrapping his arms around Ren very tightly. "But I meant physically. I feel quite filthy."

"You ARE filthy," Ren said with a smirk, kissing along the redhead's neck. "Absolutely disgusting."

Hux shivered, and Ren smiled when he felt him grow hard again.

"I'll tell you what, General," Ren continued, standing and grabbing Hux's hand. "How about we take a nice trip into the 'fresher together? A little wetness might just solve all our problems."

Hux raised an eyebrow, regarding the wicked grin on his lover's face. "That just sounds like we'll get dirtier than we already are."

"Your point being--?"

Hux shook his head, smiling, "Nothing. Lead on."


	9. Chapter 9

Hux walked into Ren's quarters and looked at Ren sitting on the sofa.

He had had one hell of a rough day. Misplaced paperwork, unproductive meetings, incompetent coworkers. 

Sometimes it all got to be too much for him, too overwhelming.

Whereas before he would just keep these feelings to himself, now he had someone to share them with.

For as loud-mouthed as he could be, as opinionated, as aggressive, Ren was actually a very good listener. Hux could talk to him about anything at all, and Ren would always have advice, a story or a joke to tell him to lighten his mood.

It wasn't just that, though; it was just Ren's presence as a whole. When he wasn't throwing tantrums, he was quite calming to be around.

Which is why, more often than not, Hux would immediately go to Ren's quarters after a bad day and just sit with him until his mood improved.

Like today.

He came over and plopped down beside him, pulling off his boots with a grunt and dropping them to the floor. Without a word he swung his legs up on the couch and laid down, facing towards Ren, his head in Ren's lap.

Ren stroked Hux's hair with one hand, his other hand gently tracing looping scrawls and patterns over Hux's back. He hummed softly as he did so.

After a few minutes of this, Ren asked him, quietly,

"Rough day today?"

"Mm-hm."

"Anything you want to talk about?"

"No," Hux murmured, his voice muffled. "Same old poodoo."

Ren nodded, continuing to rub Hux's back.

"That's really pretty," Hux said quietly.

"What is?"

"Whatever song it is you're humming. It sounds really pretty. What is it?"

Ren bit his lower lip before answering.

"I don't know if it has a name, actually. My mother used to hum it to me when I was a kid. That was a long time ago, though."

Maybe Hux sensed how painful it was for Ren, to be reminded of his mother or his past in any way. He didn't offer any commentary on Ren's words except, "Well, it's pretty."

So Ren kept humming and playing with Hux's hair, before the latter said "I should probably get up soon. I have duties to attend to tonight."

Ren frowned; he didn't want him to leave.

"What do you have to do?"

"Well, I have to oversee the evening drill, I have a load of paperwork I need to finish, I'm expected to have dinner with my Officers, I--"

"I think, Hux, that your paperwork can wait until tomorrow. And we'll just tell your officers and your Captains that you weren't feeling well, therefore the drill and the dinner are out of the question."

"I suppose that could work," Hux said slowly. Without moving his head from Ren's lap, he reached into his pocket and pulled out his datapad. He handed it to Ren and said, with a smile in his voice,

"Think you can type out a message to my Officers?"

Ren grinned as he took the pad from him. "Of course. You'll have to enter your clearance access code first, though."

"You can do it. It's your name, backwards. Last name, then first. No capital letters."

"MY name?", Ren asked him, somewhat surprised.

"Yes, you moof milker," Hux replied, rolling his eyes. "Don't make me feel weird about it."

"It's not weird. It's just . . . that's really quite sweet."

Hux didn't reply, but the bits of his face that Ren could see had turned a lovely blushing pink.

"n - e - r - o - l - y - k ", Ren chanted to himself, as he typed in Hux's passcode and assessed his datapad. He typed in a message that he thought sounded like something Hux would say, and let Hux read it when he was done. Hux gave his approval and Ren sent it to Hux's officer channel.

"There," Ren said, as he set the pad down on the table. "Now you're mine for the evening."

Hux smiled, his head burrowing deeper into Ren's warm lap.

Ren could feel how tired Hux was, and was wondering if maybe he should pick him up and carry him to bed, when Hux said,

"I like laying here on you. You're so soft."

Ren smiled. "Good. I'm glad."

Hux yawned, his consciousness now rapidly fading. Just before he slipped into sleep, he mumbled,

"I love you, Ren."

Ren's heart swelled painfully in his chest, and it was thumping so hard that it almost hurt. It was almost painful to hear those words, and know that he felt the same way back.

So much raw emotion rose throughout his body that he felt he would explode with it.

Instead he leaned down and kissed Hux on the forehead, gently, so as not to disturb his rest.

He bent to Hux's ear, lips quivering, his voice barely above a whisper,

"I love you, too."

He sat there on the sofa long past supper, long past dark, contentedly stroking Hux's soft red hair and watching his face as he slept.

''''''''''

Ren. Come see me when you can. My quarters. I have something to show you.

Ren heard the little message in his head and smiled, glad that he was done with his day so that he could go see Hux right away.

Over the past few weeks, the two had been practicing a sort of one sided communication. Hux would think things towards Ren, and Ren would find him and respond to him verbally.

He had tried experimenting to see if he could project his thoughts into Hux's mind, but so far, nothing had come of that. Which was fine, still; Ren could hear HIM, at least.

He arrived at Hux's quarters just as several Stormtroopers were exiting the room, heading in the opposite direction down the hall.

They had left Hux's door open, and Ren stepped over to it, peering inside.

"Hux? Where are you?"

Hux came from his kitchen, carrying a glass of water and looking flushed. 

"Oh," he said when he saw Ren. "I didn't expect to see you so soon."

He set his water on the table. walked behind Ren and shut the door, hugging Ren to him tightly.

He leaned up to kiss him, and stopped, frowning.

"Can you please take that thing off your head?"

"Oh, right. Sorry." Ren pulled his helmet off and set it down on the floor. "Better?"

"MUCH better," Hux replied, pulling him into a deep kiss.

Ren grinned as they pulled apart. "So what is it I had to rush down here for you to show me?"

Hux took his hand and pulled him into the living room. In the corner was a large object covered by a rough cloth.

Hux pulled the cover off, revealing something Ren had never seen before.

It was a long object, made of what appeared to be dark brown wood and brass. The middle of this object had a layer of what looked like long square white fingers, with tiny black square fingers in the spaces between the large ones.

"My men found this in an abandoned ship, on the raid I sent them on two nights ago."

"What exactly is it?"

"It's a Terran instrument, designed to play music on. These are really hard to come by in this section of the galaxy; I haven't seen one since I was 14 or so. It's called a piano."

"Piano," Ren repeated, gingerly running his hand over the dusty wooden top. "How does it work?"

"Hold on, let me clean it first, then I'll show you."

Hux spent the next half hour polishing the wood and the brass of the strange instrument, talking quietly to Ren as he did so.

Apparently, when Hux was a boy, his mother had had an instrument like this, that she inherited from her grandmother, whose home planet had been Terran.

"She played that thing all the time," Hux told Ren as he cleaned. "The most beautiful sounding things you could imagine. When she played, there were these papers she'd read off of, that had musical notes written on them corresponding to different melodies."

He dragged the bench over and placed it in front of the piano, setting to work scrubbing and polishing that as well.

"When she died, my father didn't want anyone to play it. He had it put into the lower level of our house and covered up. But I used to sneak down there and play it whenever he would go away. I taught myself how to read the sheets and I'd play songs to myself."

Hux finished polishing and sat down at the bench. He patted the place beside him and watched as Ren sat carefully down next to him.

He touched each key, telling Ren its name and demonstrating the sound it made.

"When you hear it all separately, it just seems like a bunch of disconnected sounds. But when you mix some of them together, in a pattern--"

Hux began to play an upbeat, fast-paced melody for Ren, watching with amusement as Ren's eyes grew wide with delight.

When he finished the piece, he turned to Ren and said "When you put all the random sounds together, it makes a song."

Ren sat in awe. He had never suspected that Hux would know how to play something like this, or that he would be so good at it.

"That's absolutely beautiful, Hux. It really is."

Hux put his hands over Ren's, guiding his fingers over a set of keys in a repetitive manner, until Ren could pick out the little piece on his own.

"I love the way this thing sounds," Ren told him as he drew his hands away from the keys. "But I prefer when you play it."

So Hux played for him, piece after piece, song after song. Sometimes he spoke and told Ren about a specific song, and what one piece or another meant to him. Otherwise he remained silent as his fingers glided swiftly over the ivory, remembering things he thought he had forgotten a long time ago.

Ren remained still beside him, fascinated. There was something hypnotic and soothing about listening to Hux play, and watching how his fingers danced expertly over the keys.

Eventually he laid his head down on Hux's shoulder, breathing in the sweet clean scent of his skin as his ears were flooded with the beautiful melodies.

"I'd love to bring Hannah here, sometime, and let her see this," Ren murmured into his ear. "I think this is the kind of thing she'd really enjoy. If you don't mind, that is."

"I don't mind," Hux replied, looking at Ren sideways. "She's such a quick learner, I could probably teach her how to play in a few weeks."

"I don't doubt that."

Ren kissed the tip of Hux's ear, biting down on the lobe before moving to his neck. He wrapped his arm around his waist and pulled him close.

"Do you have any idea how delicious you look right now?" He asked Hux, turning Hux's face fully towards him with his hand, and kissing his lips.

"Delicious? That's an odd word choice. You must be hungry."

"I am. I'm starving," Ren replied, as he slipped Hux's shirt down and kissed his freckled shoulder. Goosebumps broke out over Hux's arm immediately, making him shiver a little.

"W-what do you want to eat?" Hux asked him shakily, his breathing picking up.

Ren pulled Hux's shirt up and kissed down his chest, pausing to leave small bite marks as he worked his lips towards Hux's torso. He looked up at Hux with a wicked smirk on his face.

"Guess."

"Roast bantha?" Hux asked him, teasing.

"That does sound good," Ren answered, his hand sliding slowly down Hux's inner thigh. "Where do you think I can get some roast bantha?"

"I happen to have a whole plate in my bed. We can go get some, if you want."

"My Bed?", Ren repeated with a smirk. "That's an odd name for a Mess hall. Tell me, is there a dress code for this establishment?"

"Clothing optional."

"I know which option I'm picking."

"Maker, we're kriffing clumsy with innuendo!" Hux laughed, shaking his head.

"That's fine, General. I know one thing we're NOT clumsy with."

"Well, thank the stars for that. Let's go," he said, taking Ren's hand and pulling him into the bedroom.


	10. Chapter 10

"Hannah? What's wrong?"

It was late, very late, going on around 0100 in the morning. Ren had been dozing on his sofa, and Hux was spending the night, buried under the covers in Ren's bed.

Ren would rather be sleeping next to Hux, but the past few days had found his back severely out of commission. He had been to med bay several times to see if they could alleviate his pain, but the most they could do for him was give him bitter powders and a suggestion to apply heat to the sore area.

Ren found his sofa to be infinitely more comfortable in this situation, and after Hux fell asleep he would gravitate to his living room, reading and dozing on the more firm surface.

He had been in the middle of reading a book, his eyes drooping and napping a little bit, when a knock on his door startled him.

He had opened it warily, and found Hannah standing there, wrapped in a long dark robe, tears standing out in her eyes.

He led her inside and sat her down on the sofa. Now he was talking quietly to her, asking her what was wrong.

After a few moments, she managed to get out "My father died, Kylo."

"Your father?", Ren asked, confused. "How would you know something like that? I thought you hadn't seen him since he--sold you."

"I haven't. But I felt it. I FELT him go, so strongly that it's like I was there. A pull of energy."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes! I'm positive. I FELT it. I still feel it! It's hurting all over!"

Ren was quiet, not knowing what to say to her.

If it was him, he would have felt no sympathy whatsoever for a man that would sell his young vulnerable child to another person, the way one would sell an animal.

But Hannah obviously still felt some level of attachment to her father, and perhaps had some lingering regret over their familial relationship.

"I just--I'm sorry, I didn't want to come here and bother you in the middle of the night. But the feeling was so strong it woke me up and it's painful and I didn't want to be alone."

Ren shook his head, scooting closer and pulling the shaking girl into his arms.

"You don't have to ever be afraid to come to me, at any time, for whatever reason. It's okay."

He did his best to soothe her, patting her hair and gently rocking her back and forth.

"Ren? What's wrong?"

Ren looked over Hannah's head at where Hux had just emerged from his bedroom, rubbing his eyes and looking confused.

Hannah also turned and looked at him, and a blush came over her face.

She knew that Ren and Hux were together. As Force-bonded as she and Ren were, keeping secrets like that would be a very hard thing to do.

She had never asked Ren about it personally, though, trying to respect his privacy and discretion.

If she had known Hux was here right now, she wouldn't have come over. She felt horrible about having woken him up and disturbing his time with Ren.

Ren didn't seem to think that she was disturbing them, though. Not taking his arms from around her, he turned toward Hux and explained the situation to him.

Hux sat down soberly on the other side of Hannah, more awake now. He timidly reached out and patted the girl's back.

"You're shaking," Hux said, reaching over the back of the sofa and pulling the blanket from across it. He draped it carefully around her shoulders, patting it firmly into place.

"I'll go make some tea," Hux said, standing up and stretching.

Ren rolled his eyes at this. Hux seemed to think that tea made everything better, and wanted Ren to embrace the same philosophy.

Which was why, despite the knight's protests, he had filled Ren's kitchen with a plethora of different tea flavors and styles.

Hux saw Ren roll his eyes, and smiled a little. 

"I know what you're thinking, Ren, and you can just keep it to yourself."

"You have no idea what I'm thinking."

"I believe I do. You may be the mind-reader, but I can read YOU like a book, Ren."

"It's surprising you can read at all."

Hux ignored this and turned to Hannah. "I'll have you a hot drink in a few minutes, okay?"

"Okay," Hannah sniffled, wiping her eyes on the sleeve of her robe. "T-thank you."

Hux nodded, before turning and going into Ren's kitchen.

Hannah was somewhat in awe, seeing Hux like this.

Anytime she saw him in public, he was The General. He was strict, disciplined, and a fearsome leader. He commanded large and small groups alike with effortlessly. He was always impeccably dressed in regulation uniform, never walking a step out of place or saying a word out of order.

Seeing him in a domestic light was markedly different. Seeing the sweet, laid-back way he interacted with Ren was mind-blowing. 

The comparison between the two facets of the General's personality was almost staggering.

He came back out about ten minutes later, carrying two steaming cups carefully in his hands. He handed one to Hannah.

"Yours has chamomile and ginger. I've heard that chamomile is supposed to have soothing properties, and ginger is good for your heart."

"No, it's not," Ren interrupted him, as Hannah took a sip. "Ginger is supposed to improve memory, not the heart."

Hux glared at him over his cup. "How would YOU know?"

Ren threw up his hands in exasperation. "My fath--uh, Han Solo, was a spice smuggler when I was younger. I learned about every spice you can imagine before I was 10."

He said this, and immediately found himself clutching at his chest. It still hurt, it STILL HURT, to even THINK of his father, let alone talk about him.

Hux knew that he had murdered his father, of course. Everyone in the First Order knew. Outwardly Ren pretended that he had no regrets whatsoever about the situation, but inside he was a fiery ball of guilt and sorrow.

He couldn't put on the facade right now, especially not with Hannah sitting next to him obviously hurting over her own father, so he quickly cast about for a distraction.

"Where's MY cup, Hux?"

Hux glared at him. "What do you mean, 'where's my cup'? Am  
I crazy, or do you not complain all the kriffing time about how much you hate it?"

"That doesn't matter. It's bad manners not to at least offer a person a cup."

"Fine. Ren, would you like a cup of tea?", Hux asked him through gritted teeth.

Ren grinned at him. "No."

At this Hannah burst into laughter, clapping her hand over her mouth and nearly spilling her cup in the process.

She turned towards Hux and asked him, still laughing, "How in the hells do you put up with that?"

Hux looked over her head at Ren, and softly smiled. There was all the affection and devotion in his eyes needed to answer such a question, but he responded out-loud anyway.

"I guess it's because I love him."

Ren was touched, and if Hannah wasn't sitting between them, he would have leapt across the sofa and covered Hux with kisses.

That was the first time Hux had acknowledged that he loved Ren, in front of another person. Even if it was only Hannah.

Hannah could sense that some strong feeling had just passed between Ren and Hux, and it made her feel slightly awkward, wondering if she was in the way.

"It's getting late, maybe I should go," she said, putting down her cup and beginning to rise.

Ren and Hux both shot out an arm, simultaneously, and pulled the girl back down.

"You're not going anywhere, young lady," Hux said, in a mock-commanding voice. "You're going to stay here and watch holofilms with us, and that's an official General's order"

Hannah laughed again. She already felt worlds better than she did when she first came here, and was genuinely touched that these two were making so much of an effort to soothe her.

"That's right," said Ren, getting up and going into his bedroom. He returned with a pillow and a small holodisc. He put the pillow on the armrest and motioned for her to lie down.

He put the holodisc into the projector, then came back to the sofa. He sat on the other side of the small stretched out girl, by her feet, and Hux sat next to him.

It was one of those new HorrorHolo's that everybody seemed to be interested in these days, but to Ren, it seemed more like a comedy.

He and Hux spent the majority of the movie arguing over what was 'scary' and what wasn't; and how they would have handled different scenarios.

The warmth of the room and the comforting drone of the men's running commentary soon put Hannah to sleep, curled underneath the soft blanket and breathing lightly.

About 10 minutes after Hannah fell asleep, Ren felt a heavy pressure on his side and realized that Hux was leaning against him, sound asleep and snoring lightly on his shoulder.

Turning his head very gently, so as not to wake either of them, Ren looked back and forth from Hux, to Hannah, and back to Hux again.

These two--as impossible as it seemed, as unlikely--these two had become his family.

He was intensely grateful for them, and felt fiercely possessive over them both. He would die, if necessary, to protect either of them.

So if I have this, why do I still feel that pain in the way-back of my heart? he asked himself, frowning.

Your mother, a voice answered him, quietly, seemingly coming from the darkness of the room and invading his mind.

The voice was not his own; but he knew it well enough.

Grandfather, he thought, turning his head in the direction of the pedestal. You know it's too late for that. Much too late. Even if we could somehow reunite, she would not want to see me now.

She misses you. She thinks about you every single day.

I betrayed her. I abandoned our family. I killed her husband. She'd be a fool to forgive me my transgressions.

She has ALREADY forgiven you. All she wants is for you to come home.

"It's too late!", he said, unaware that he had spoken out-loud until Hux stirred against his shoulder. 

"What's too late?", he mumbled sleepily.

"Nothing," Ren whispered, stroking Hux's hair. "Go back to sleep."

Hux leaned back against Ren's shoulder and drifted off almost immediately, snuggling into Ren's warmth.

After a while, Ren did the same.


	11. Chapter 11

Two Stormtroopers brought the leader of this village before him. He was a young man, with dark eyes and long brown hair. Despite being held back by Ren's men, he stood regally, glaring at Ren with a defiant sneer.

He was on a small planet located in the outer rim territories, with a shuttle and a squad of storm troopers. 

Snoke had received word from his allies that this village had been planning an attack on one i the F.O.'s smaller bases, and had sent Ren to investigate into this claim.

They had arrived long after sundown, the glow from the ship and a small fire in the center of the village the only light sources in the thick darkness.

The men of this village had immediately attacked when the ship arrived, but were quickly outnumbered and overpowered by the Stormtroopers and their blasters.

Ren had his men line up all the villagers outside the small grouping of huts, and had them search out the main leader, who was hiding like a coward in one of the tents.

The man was before him now, trying to appear tough despite the raw fear Ren could feel ebbing out of him.

The Stormtroopers drove him to his knees in front of Ren, and the man exhaled a painful grunt as his knees hit the sharp gravel.

Ren crouched down so that he was eye level with the man, staring at him through the mask.

"You. You are the leader here. You are the orchestrator behind this pitiful rebellion attempt."

The man would not speak; he merely continued to stare at Ren with baleful eyes.

Ren reached out his hand towards the man, noticing the sharp way his head flinched backwards. Ren closed his eyes and concentrated on the man's memories, ignoring his cries of pain until he found what he was looking for.

"You've been planning this for months. You have a cache of salvaged fighter ships hidden away on Yamut that you intended to use for this attack."

The man groaned as Ren reached out with the Force and applied pressure to his brain, making it feel as though knives were scraping beneath the surface of his scalp.

Not taking his attention from the man, Ren said to his Stormtroopers "Bring out the others."

His men brought out the leaders of this tribe one by one, lining them up next to the agonized man that was already kneeling at Ren's feet.

One man, a particularly large one, was putting up such a struggle that Ren's men could barely hold on to him.

He managed to knock back the two that were holding him, and he lunged towards Ren, pulling a primitive, jagged dagger from his cloak.

Before the other troopers could react, Ren had turned his head toward the man and frozen him in place. The look of shock on the man's face was almost comical. His arm was still in mid-swing from where he had intended to drive his blade into Ren.

The dagger floated up and out of the man's grip, and turned mid-flight back towards him. It came down with brutal force into the man's face, gouging out both of his eyes and stripping the flesh from his cheeks, before flying towards his chest and lodging there, buried all the way to the hilt in the man's heart.

The man fell to the ground, his blood staining the sand and grit all around him.

The other leaders watched this happen with a look of mixed horror and disgust on their faces. Their fear spread like wildfire from one man to the next, as they realized what fate had in store for them.

Slowly, Ren drew out his lightsaber and ignited it, holding the growling tip right below the man at his feet's chin.

"The First Order will not succumb to these pathetic attempts at sabotage, or insubordination. Anyone, man, woman, or creature, who betrays us receives the same sentence: death. There is no other way."

He brought his blade down in a swift stroke on the man's neck, cleanly decapitating him. He moved down the line and did the same to the others, as the other prisoners from the village were made to stand and watch the destruction of their comrades.

When he was finished, he switched his saber off, chest heaving slightly.

He look down and saw one of the newly severed heads at the toe of his boot, staring up at him with a kind of wonder in its eyes. He quickly kicked it away, watching as it rolled unevenly across the sand and landed with a sticky thud against the base of one of the huts.

A Captain approached him where he stood in the middle of the fresh corpses he had made.

"Sir? What of the rest of them?"

Ren turned and glanced around at the faces of the men, women and children who inhabited this small village, lined up with their hands behind their heads.

Part of him, a larger part than he would have thought possible, wanted to simply let them go. 

After all, they had had nothing to do with the uprising that their leaders had been planning, and were unarguably innocent.

Yet at the same time, now every person here knew of what The First Order had come for. Word would spread to other areas, other planets, making those who resided there less clumsy, more detailed about hiding plans and rebellion attempts, like these people had failed to do.

There was no other way.

Ren steeled his mind against the burst of conscience he was having.

"Kill them all," he told the Captain quietly, his mechanical voice deceptively cold, and impassive.

He turned away and walked back towards the ship, mentally blocking the sounds of the villagers screaming, the children crying, and the sharp blaster-shots of the Stormtroopers.

He could hear the whoosh of flames as several troopers laid fire to the village, incinerating the huts and the common buildings, until all that was left were charred, smoking remains.

The smoke rose up in a thick cloud, standing out brightly against the dark sky as the ship lifted off.

'''''''''''''

Hours had passed, and Ren was back in his own quarters, having come from giving Snoke his report in the situation.

He had been praised for his efficiency and his success, but to Ren, the words from his Master had no meaning.

He felt very tired. Physically tired but mentally exhausted.

When he left Snoke, he didn't bother going to get something to eat. He didn't bother stopping by Hux's quarters, or Hannah's.

He merely went to his own rooms, walked in, and headed straight for his bedroom.

He curled up in a ball on top of his bed, still fully dressed with his boots on. He buried his face in his pillow and tried desperately to sleep, to drown out the thoughts and feelings that seemed to be eating at him.

The best he could manage (and this turned out not to be so great), was to slip into a daydream of sorts.

It wasn't quite like a dream, it was more like a memory. He was reliving something that had happened in his childhood, so vividly that it was as though he had been transported back in time.

He had been coming back from a trip with his father.

He was about 14 years old, already impossibly tall, with long black hair he let fall over his face and one eye. When he was at the academy, he kept it neatly tied back in a single ponytail. At home, he let it flow freely all over the place, earning many annoyed looks from his dad.

He was home for the weekend from his training with Uncle Luke, and he would rather have spent his time home, by himself, in his room.

But his mother had still been in session with the Senate council and didn't want him to be all alone, so she had "suggested" Han take him with on his short trip to Coruscant.

Most of the ride had been punctuated with awful, awkward silence. Even his father's companion Chewbacca was silent, sensing the tension between the two Solo's, and spent most of his time in the back 'fixing' things rather than in the cockpit with Han and Ben.

"So--Ben. How are you? Have you learned anything new from Luke lately?"

Ben had rolled his eyes. His father asked the same thing every time he came home, and Ben would give him a brief description of something or other Luke had taught him.

His father always listened attentively, but Ben could pick up on his feelings, and they irritated him.

His father didn't believe in the Force. He never had. He was a very straight forward individual who believed that there was always a simple explanation for every thing.

He hadn't wanted Leia to send Ben to Luke, to train as a 'Jedi'. But his wife had been insistent, so Ben had been sent away.

Ben always felt that, no matter what he told Han, or showed him, Han was still as skeptical and disbelieving of Ben's obvious talent as he had been from the very beginning.

Ben always felt like his father resented him, because of his talents, which would explain why their 'bond' as father and son was nearly non-existent.

He had even stopped calling his father 'dad' at the age of 10, instead addressing him by his first name, which Han readily accepted. Leia heavily disapproved of the informality of title between her husband and her son, but accepted it as being better than the arguments and yelling that usually passed between the two.

Ben looked at his father when he asked the question, and sighed. 

"Come on, Han, you can stop pretending like you care."

"I'm not pretending, Ben," Han answered him through gritted teeth. "You're my SON, and I care about what's going on in your life."

"Since when?"

Han was silent for a while, staring out the windows of the Falcon as stars and planets went whizzing by.

When he finally turned back towards Ben, his face had cleared, and his voice was calm, almost sad.

"I know you don't believe it, Ben, but I do love you, kid. I love you and your mother more than anything in the galaxy. I'd die for you. You know that, don't you?"

Ben turned away, biting his lower lip to keep his eyes from tearing up. He wanted so badly to believe his dad, to go to him and hug him, and tell him that he loved him, too.

But he just couldn't.

All he could feel was a great whistling whiteness between the two of them, a distance that he feared was already too late to overcome.

"Han," he began, when suddenly the lights in the cockpit dimmed, then began rapidly blinking.

A beeping light came on his father's dashboard, and Han turned to it quickly.

At that moment, Chewbacca came running out of the back, yelling and holding a fistful of wires in his paws. He was speaking too fast for Ben to fully understand him, but he could just make out the words "broken" and "destabilized."

His father began yelling as well, grabbing the wires from Chewbacca's paws and arguing about what went where.

Ben watched the scene with a kind of slow motion clarity, as the two argued and ran into the back of the ship, wires trailing after them.

He heard his Uncle's steady voice in his head, telling him to remain calm.

He walked over to the controls and set them on autopilot, something  
that his father, in his haste, had forgotten to do.

He walked swiftly to the back of the ship, blinking against the flashing lights, and found his father and the Wookie still arguing over what cord needed to go where.

He calmly reached between them and grabbed he correct cord from his father's hand, a light blue with exposed wires.

He raised his hand and use the Force to lift the panel off of the controller box. He kept it floating there as he removed the damaged cord from the box and replaced it with the one in his hand, his fingers expertly conmecting over the wires.

There was a brief spark, and the entire ship went momentarily dark.

Then all at once, all the lights came back on, and the warning siren had stopped sounding from the cockpit.

He levitated the panel back into place, selling it down tightly.

Han and Chewbacca looked at each other, then at Ben, a kind of disbelief in their eyes.

Without a word, Ben turned and left them, walking back to the front and sitting once more in the co-pilot's seat.

After a moment, Han joined him, sitting down next to him quietly.

"Ben--how the Kriff did you know what to do? How did you know how to fix that?"

Ben looked at him, and smiled. "You taught me. Remember? When I was 7, and the ship almost crashed into that old ship near Tattoine?"

Han smiled sheepishly. "Right," he said, rubbing the back of his neck. "I'd forgotten about that."

It seemed as though he wanted to say something more; instead, he just shook his head and disappeared into the back.

He reemerge a few minutes later with a crystal bottle of extremely rare Alderean wine, and two small  
glasses.

"Seems to me like this is an occasion for a drink, wouldn't you say?"

"Mom doesn't like me drinking that. And Luke says it's forbidden."

"I'll tell you what, Ben," his father had said, pouring two glasses from the colorful bottle. "I won't tell if you won't. Agreed?" He held out the glass to his son with that familiar, roguish grin on his face. The one Ben had inherited from him.

"Agreed," Ben said, taking the glass from his father. 

He tipped it back and took a big swallow, struggling not to cough as it burned and bubbled down his throat.

Han noticed his struggle and chuckled, clapping him lightly on the back. 

"I know; it has that effect on me too."

Ben smiled at his dad, and the rest of the ride home was a little easier.

'''''  
Ren opened his eyes from this memory, not at all sure why it had come, or why it was so vivid.

For the first time in a very long time, maybe for the first time ever--he missed his father.

A long time ago he had always dreamt that the two of them would meet at one of the cantina's his father loved to frequent. They would throw back a few drinks, and they would talk. They would talk until he lights came on and they were put out by the barkeep. They would get on the Falcon and keep talking.

And at the end of it all, at the end of everything, he would be able to say the one thing that would never come before.

I love you, too, dad.

But now it was too late.

He wanted to cry, to lament over the lost relationship that he could never get back, never fix, but he couldn't.

No tears would come.

He just felt numb, and hollow.

It may be too late for that, but it's not too late for something else.

Ren turned his head towards the pedestal in the corner of the room, glaring at the helmet with exasperation.

Grandfather, why do you insist on tormenting me? Why do you keep insisting on the impossible? I understand that Leia is your daughter, and you love her, but it's too late for me. It's too late for all of us.

It's never too late for you to come home, grandson. I think you'd be surprised at the reception that would await you, if you came home.

It's more complicated than that, Grandfather, and you KNOW that. What about Hux? Or Hannah? Even if I could leave here, if I could go home, how could I ask them  
to come with me? They have everything here. Everything. Power, authority, unlimited resources. What would I have to offer them if we went to my mother?

Yourself.

I'm not enough.

Again, you'd be surprised, grandson.

"I'm NOT ENOUGH!" he screamed out-loud, relieved as the voice finally went silent.

Another voice replaced it.

"Ren? Are you here?"

It was Hux, coming through the doorway of the living room and searching for Ren.

He walked into the bedroom and saw Ren laying on his bed, still curled up on his side, and he sat down beside him.

"I was waiting for you; I thought for sure you'd come to see me once you got back."

"I'm sorry, Hux. I just felt so tired."

"It's okay. How did your mission go?"

Ren sat up and gave Hux a brief run-down of all that had happened, getting through the event as quickly as possible.

Hux looked at him when he was done speaking.

"Are you feeling okay?"

"I'm fine. Why?"

"You look--more than tired. You look sick."

"I'm okay."

Hux raised an eyebrow, shaking his head. He held out his arms.

"Come here, please."

"Why?"

"One, because you look upset, and two, I haven't had my arms around you all day and they hurt. Now come here."

Ren scooted over to him and hugged him, letting Hux wrap him  
in his arms and hold him.

Hux wound his fingers through Ren's silky dark locks. "Your hair is so beautiful, Ren. You know I used to sit during my meetings and daydream about running my fingers through it. Now that I can actually do it, it's like I can't get enough."

"You're the most beautiful person in the galaxy.", Hux continued, kissing Ren's forehead.

Ren blushed, tucking his head under Hux's chin. "Second most beautiful."

Hux rolled his eyes at this. "Agree to disagree, love."

"Do your arms feel better yet?", Ren teased him, acting like he was going to pull away.

Hux only tightened his grip around him with a smirk. "They're starting to. But now my lips are beginning to ache."

Ren leaned up into his face, pouting temptingly. "I don't think I know how to fix that, Hux. I guess I'll have to take you to med bay."

Hux kissed him hungrily, with a growl. "Med bay? Really?" He kissed him again. "Sometimes I really hate you, you know that?"

Ren kissed him, hard, gripping his face with rough fingers.

"I know. I hate you, too. So let's do something about it."

"Your move, Ren," Hux said with a grin, laughing as Ren tackled him onto his back.


	12. Chapter 12

Hux sat in his office, reading over his lengthy itinerary for the next couple of weeks.

In a few days, the Supreme Leader was taking a trip to a neighboring star system, to visit his allies there. He would be gone from the base for about a week's time. 

He was taking with him a contingent of Stormtroopers, as well as his own personal guards. 

He had debated whether to take Ren or Hannah with him, but had eventually decided against it. He wanted them to remain behind and train, and to be there to offer Force protection should the base come under attack for any reason.

He had given the General and his Officers a rather wordy list of instructions and tasks he wanted adhered to during his absence.

Looking over the list now, Hux frowned. It honestly looked no different from his schedule during a normal week, with the exception of more meetings sprinkled in here and there.

He knew that Snoke was fastidiously detailed and precise about the way he wanted his operations run, but still. A missive such as the one in Hux's hands seemed entirely unnecessary, and it rankled with Hux a bit.

Snoke made it seem, in a way, that without his direct orders, Hux and the rest of his men would be at a loss for what to do. It made him feel as though he wasn't good enough, somehow, and that bothered him to no end.

Again, he understood that this was just the way Snoke WAS.

But still.

He glanced at his windows, and was a little surprised to find that twilight had already fallen, dusting the grounds in a deep purple-blue haze.

He put his papers aside, arranging them in order of importance on his desk to tackle first thing in the morning.

He stood and stretched, getting the soreness out of his muscles as he left his office and headed to his quarters, where he knew Ren was waiting for him.

As always, he smiled when he thought of his dark prince, most likely sitting with his boots up on Hux's couch and slurping down Tea.

Which he still claimed he hated.

When he got to his doors and stepped inside, there was Ren, just as he knew he would be.

But something was different.

Instead of sitting relaxed on his couch, Ren was pacing the floor and talking to himself, his arms wildly gesturing through the air.

He stopped when he saw Hux, and stood frozen in the middle of the room.

"Ren," Hux said cautiously, slowly approaching him. "What are you doing?"

Ren folded his arms across his chest, hugging himself. He looked worried, and embarrassed, and--what was that other thing? Almost--scared?

But of what?

"I'm just, uh, it's nothing," Ren said quickly, as Hux got up right next to him. Looking at him up close, Hux could see the fine bead of sweat at the corner of his temples, and the wildness of his eyes.

Hux leaned up and kissed him, starting to feel apprehensive. "You're sure nothing is wrong?"

Ren went and sat on the armrest of the chair, looking at Hux. When he spoke again, what he says seemed out of place.

"Hux--you know that I'd never be unfaithful to you, right?"

Hux blinked in surprise. The statement was so unexpected that at first he couldn't think of the words to say.

"Y-yes, I know that."

"You know I can't really cook, although I suppose I could learn if I had to."

Hux stared at him, not responding, wondering where Ren was going with this.

"I'm hard to get along with sometimes, and I have a temper and sometimes I break things and that makes you mad but I'm working on that, really I am."

"Ren--what in the world are you talking about?!"

Ren's next words all came out in a jumbled mess, tripping over themselves in an effort to leave his mouth.

"I know this is the least romantic thing I can do, the worst way of asking, but Snoke's leaving and there would be no other time. I thought about leaving off base to do it but we never get away just the both of us, and I want Hannah there."

"Ren--what are you talking about?"

"I can get an officiating droid to come here, once Snoke is gone, and Hannah can be the witness."

"Witness? To what?"

"We could do it in that little patch of forest on the south of the base, you remember that little clearing we came across that one time? It'd be perfect."

"Perfect for WHAT!?", Hux shouted at him, annoyed and confused.

Ren took a deep breath, gripping both of Hux's hands so tightly that Hux wondered if the bones were broken. Ren's eyes were alight with excitement and nerves.

"Hux, I want you to marry me."

Hux looked at him, completely floored. He had not expected this, not now or ever, and for the life of him he couldn't remember how to open his mouth and make himself speak.

"I know this seems very sudden, and I know it feels like I just rushed this out, but that's not entirely true. The timing is rushed but the feeling isn't. My feelings aren't. I love you."

Hux still couldn't respond, and Ren sighed, taking his silence for rejection.

"I know how complicated it would be, I'm not a fool. Obviously it would have to be kept a secret. And we couldn't even live together; we'd have to keep coming over to one or the other's quarters like we do now."

He reached into the pocket of his robe, pulling out a small little box. He opened it and inside was a tasteful, shining black-gold band, with trio of small square diamonds in the center.

"We couldn't even wear rings; or at least not all of the time. Certainly not around Snoke."

He slipped the band gently over Hux's finger. It fit. Perfectly.

"But I would know, and you would know. You would officially be mine, and I would be yours."

Hux was still in silent shock as he held out the hand and looked at the band situated snugly on his finger.

Without a word, he turned around and went into his bedroom, going deep into his closet and pulling out the thing he had kept hidden there for months.

He brought it out into the room, where Ren was still standing, looking at him anxiously.

It was a tiny box, much like the one Ren had pulled out.

He opened it and inside was a ring, nearly identical to the one Ren had chosen for him. 

He took it out and slipped it over the surprised Ren's finger.

"Yes."

"Yes? Really?"

"Yes."

Tears were streaming down the knight's face as he embraced the redhead, still looking at his own hand in disbelief.

"I can't believe it," Ren whispered, his arms shaking. 

"Neither can I. It's an amazing feeling when your dearest daydream suddenly comes to life."

"When does Snoke leave?"

"He leaves in three days, early morning."

"And he'll be gone for a week?"

"Yes."

"When do you want to do it, then?"

Hux pulled his face down and kissed him. "Right now."

Ren smiled and kissed him back. "Me, too; but that wouldn't be practical."

"Then, how about that day? The day that he leaves?"

"You're willing to take the plunge that soon? No waiting, or giving yourself a chance to run before it's too late?"

"No, you nerf-herder. I want to be your husband."

Ren kissed him again, driving him backwards into the wall with the intensity of his push. He held him there and kissed all over his face, unable to stop.

Hux held out his arms to fend him off, laughing a little. "Easy, now. Save some for the honeymoon,   
Kylo Ren. Or will it be Kylo Hux?"

"That's an interesting question," said Ren, continuing to pelt him with kisses. "How about Hux-Ren? Or Ren-Hux? Kylo and Armitage Ren-Hux?"

"I like that, actually. It sounds regal, almost."

"So, you mentioned 'honeymoon'. Obviously we can't leave here, but we can't let the occasion pass without doing SOMETHING special."

"Leave that to me; I'll figure something out. In the meantime, how about we go and tell Hannah?"

Ren grinned. "Let's go. I can't wait to see the look on her face."

"Me either."

''''''''''

The day that Snoke left could not have been more beautiful, for a variety of reasons.

The sun was shining down warmly into the little clearing, and the wind was strong but also warm, blowing their clothes around them in graceful swirls.

Hux had arranged everything effortlessly so that his schedule was completely cleared for the day, having assigned his duties to the Captains eager to prove that they were ready for a promotion.

As soon as it looked natural for him to slip away, he did so, walking to the south of the base to the patch of woods there, to the little clearing that Ren had designated days ago.

Ren and Hannah were already there, along with the officiating droid.

As he got nearer to Ren, Hux was surprised to find that his heart was pounding quite loudly in his ears.

He looked at Ren and was sure that he was experiencing the same thing, as well. 

He took a calming breath as he joined the three in the circle, hugging Hannah before going to Ren and positioning themselves in front of the droid. 

The droid began to recite the words of the ceremony, listing the duties and obligations that married couples had towards each other, and the seriousness of the commitment they were undertaking.

When the droid called for the rings, Hannah handed the plain black-gold bands to each of them, her smile wavering with emotion.

Ren took Hux's hands in his own, struggling to keep the tears from his voice as he said the words he had practiced so many times in his head.

"Armitage Hux, I promise to faithfully love, honor, and cherish you. As long as I draw breath, as long as my heart beats, I will always protect you. Your spirit is my spirit, your flesh is my flesh. I will remain yours until I die, and even then, no one will have a claim on me in the afterlife but you. I will forever love and adore you."

Carefully, he slid the shining black-gold band over Hux's left ring finger, pressing it firmly into place with a watery smile.

The wind whipped Hannah's dress around her slender body, her hair blowing out into the breeze. She was glad of the strong wind, because it gave a reason for the tears that were streaming steadily down her face.

Hux bit his lip, looking down at Ren's hands holding his own. Tears were blurring his own eyes, making it difficult for him to see clearly. He had to clear his throat several times before he could speak.

"Kylo Ren," he began, his voice shaking, "I promise to faithfully love, honor, and cherish you. You have always been as a dream to me; a beautiful, unobtainable fantasy springing from the depths of my loneliness. I never would have believed that one day, you'd love me, back, or that we would be joined together for eternity. For as long as I draw breath, I will always protect you, and I will forever love you."

He slid the dark circlet over Ren's left ring finger, his own fingers trembling just slightly.

Hannah was openly weeping now, making no effort to hide it. 

She cried as the officiating droid pronounced the two men to be married. She cried when they embraced each other, when they kissed as though time had no meaning.

She cried as the two men embraced her, as the three stood with their arms around each other in the gentle afternoon sunshine.

And as she cried, as the tears flooded out her eyes and drowned her heart in a warm wave, she smiled.

She could not remember ever feeling quite so happy, in her entire life.

Neither could Ren.  
Or Hux.


	13. Chapter 13

The scent of the flowers was overwhelming.

Everywhere in this tiny room, from  
corner to corner, were bouquets of the most fragrant flowers imaginable.

They spilled over the coffin and onto the floor, crushing under people's feet as they each took their turn to come and look, at the lovely lady in white.

Her face was worn, the hair just starting to turn gray in streaky wisps, but she looked beautiful nonetheless. 

Calm, peaceful, natural.

This was a woman who had meant so many things to different people; had had so many titles bestowed upon her that it was nearly impossible to name them all.

Warrior.  
Princess.  
Rebel.  
Senate Member.  
General.  
Resistance Leader.  
Friend.  
Sister.  
Wife.

Mother.

Ren could feel the eyes on him as he made his way to the front of the room, and stared down at the woman lying on a bed of silk.

He picked up her hand, so cold, and brought it gently to his lips.

"Mother---I'm so sorry," he said, as tears spilled over his long lashes.

He continued to hold her hand as the short man stood at the podium and began,

"We are here today to lay rest to our fallen sister, Leia Organa-Solo . . ."

Ren woke up with a gasp, breathing hard, his eyes darting around fearfully in the dark.

After a moment his eyes adjusted, and he could see the outline of Hux laying next to him in the dark, his bare skin glowing in the moonlight falling from the window.

It was just a dream, Ren thought to himself.

Just a dream, just a dream, just a dream.

He laid back down and pulled the covers up to his neck, trying to calm his erratic breathing.

"What's wrong?"

Hux had noticed the shaking and had woken up, turning so that he was facing Ren. He looked at him with sleepy eyes from where his head rested the pillow.

"It's nothing," Ren whispered, reaching out and stroking Hux's soft hair. "Everything's fine; go back to sleep."

Hux yawned, pushing Ren's hand away. 

"Everything is NOT fine or you wouldn't be shaking like that."

When Ren didn't respond, Hux sighed and sat fully up, switching on the bedside lamp.

"We've been married for, what, about 3 months now? And you're still not being honest with me?"

"It's not a matter of not being honest, Hux. It's a matter of not wanting to bother you with the same thing over and over."

Hux was quiet for a moment, before saying softly "You had another dream about your mother, didn't you?"

Ren nodded, not meeting Hux's eyes.

"Do you want to talk about it? You know sometimes getting things out can help relieve some of the pain."

"I don't know. It's not the dream itself, it's the feeling. I keep feeling that it's too late for me, and my mother. To see her one day. To make things right with her. To tell her I'm sorry."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Yes."

"If you could do anything different in your life, any single thing at all, what would it BE?"

"I don't know, I honestly don't know anymore, Hux. I think--I think that, if I could, I'd go back in time to when I was 6 years old. The day before my parents sent me to Luke. But I'd have to go back with the knowledge I have now, or it'd be pointless. Armed with my knowing how things will turn out, I could maybe give my mother a more convincing argument about not going to Luke, than just "I don't want to go."

"Do you think your life would have turned out better, if you could do that?"

"Yes and no. On one hand, I most likely would never have deciliter my Force powers. I would be an average man, most likely be a smuggler with Han. But on the other hand, I never would have met you. Or Hannah. And I can't imagine that at all."

Hux smiled, picking up Ren's hand and kissing it.

"I couldn't imagine that, either. But you're not happy here, love. You haven't been happy for a long time, I think. It worries me. I keep thinking that maybe--maybe we should leave here. Try and find Leia . Join the Resistance, if it came down to that."

Ren's heart leapt at his words. That would be his dearest dream come true; but no, there were far too many complications with the idea.

"I could never ask you to do that, regardless. You have so much here. You're a powerful man here; you have an entire army at your feet. You've seen how it is with the Resistance; it's chaotic. They don't have anywhere near the resources or technological prowess of The First Order."

"I'm not saying it would be an easy transition, you know. Or even a possible one. I'm saying that maybe it's a necessary one."

"And what about Hannah?", Ren asked him. "I know she's only about 15 years or so younger than us, but it's like--it's like--"

"It's like she's our daughter," Hux finished for him, quietly, rubbing his temples.

"Exactly. And if I thought like how a father should think, I'd see that this place is the best possible place for her to be in. She has everything at her fingertips, and the potential to expand her Force abilities behind that of mine, or even Snoke's."

"If--IF we COULD get away, why couldn't she receive the same things over there? I'm sure that your uncle would be more than willing to --"

"After what I did to him? He would most likely kill me just as soon as look at me. That would be my attitude if I were in his position."

"You throw up so many reason and excuses as to why things won't work, but you take almost no consideration of how things COULD work. That's my job, you know, as General. I have to be able to see every possible side to something, everything that could go right or wrong, and make a decision for a course of action to take."

"Well, you're good at that, Hux. But I only see the negatives. The biggest one of all being that my mother couldn't forgive me."

"Ren, from what you've told me of her, it seems as though she has a big heart."

"She's does. She's also incredibly strong. You know, she'shad every bad thing imaginable happen to her, Hux, yet she continued to push and fight for what she believes in. Her birth mother died in childbirth, she was raised by a loving man and his wife only to have them die when her birth father destroyed her entire home planet. She was enslaved by Jabba the Hut, she witnessed my father frozen in carbonite and taken by a bounty hunter, her brother went missing--and now me. The rogue son. Turning his back on everything she taught him, and falling directly into the hands of that which she tried to protect him from. And she lives with that, and the heartbreak that I killed her soulmate. There's only so strong one can BE, before they snap. I feel like my actions may have been that 'snap' for her."

"How can you be SURE?"

Ren scowled, turning away. He laid back down on his side. "I don't want to talk about this anymore, alright?"

Hux sighed again, and switched off the lamp.

He laid down and curled his arms around Ren, kissing the back of his neck.

"I love you, you know."

"I know. I love you, too."

As he tried to drift back to sleep, Ren found his mind consumed with thoughts of the man who's arms were holding him so tightly.

Being married to Hux was better than he could have imagined it being.

Their marriage was a secret, of course, to everyone except Hannah. Yet there was something exciting about that, something sweet and intimate.

He wore his wedding ring on a small chain around his neck, tucked away inside his robes so that Snoke or anyone else wouldn't see it.

But he knew it was there, pressing lightly against his chest, and that have him a tremendous amount of peace and comfort.

There were times when he would spot Hux some distance away, sometimes talking to Snoke, sometimes giving orders to a group of men. He would see him and would be completely unable to stop the smile that broke out over his face.

At times like that he would want quite badly to run to him, to kiss him. To hold his hand and to tell the world "This is my Husband."

As it was, ever since they had gotten married, the two were painfully careful about the way they acted with each other around the base, and on board the Finalizer. 

Which wasn't as hard as one would think, sometimes.

Marriage had not changed the fact that Hux could grate on Ren's nerves with his infuriating calmness and anal attention to detail and regulation. And Ren himself was still in poor control of his temper, often destroying people and property during his many fits.

At times like that, they would yell at and berate each other in public, and the outside perception of their professional relationship remained the same.

Nobody suspected that all the yelling and arguing was almost always resolved in the far reaches of the night, in the bed of one or the other.

The two had set up shop mainly in Hux's quarters, although they would change it every now and then to throw off anyone who might accidentally observe one man or the other leaving said quarters in the early morning hours, before the flow of foot traffic and bustle of activity would begin.

Despite all the initial problems, and the constant need for secrecy, Ren was quite happy, for a change.

Finally, after all the years of making the wrong decisions, he had made a good one. A RIGHT one. 

Marrying Hux was the smartest thing he had ever done.

Yet more often than not, during lulls in training, or alone in his own quarters waiting for Hux to be done for the day, he found himself thinking of his mother.

He thought of her in dreams, like the one he had just had; but he also thought of her in his waking hours, as well.

About how happy she would be, to know that Ren had settled down.

He could vividly remember when he was a teenager, on the weekends he would be home from the Jedi academy, laying in his bed and listening to his parents muffled voices talk about him far into the night.

"I just worry, Han. Luke tells me Ben is his best student when he's focused, but he senses so much anger in him. He says he doesn't really get along with the other students, always to himself."

"Sounds like me when I was that age. He's just shy; he'll come around eventually."

""What if he doesn't? I feel in my heart that he'll always be lonely, always alone. I don't want that for him, Han. But I don't know how to reach him. Sometimes--sometimes I feel like he hates us."

"He doesn't hate us, Leia."

"He barely speaks three words to us when he's home! I would have thought by now he'd be over his anger at being sent to Luke."

"Then maybe you shouldn't have sent him away."

"Han--don't say that to me. He had tremendous potential talent, even as a little boy. I couldn't let that go to waste! I know you don't believe in the Force, but --"

"You're right; I don't."

" -- but I DO. He has it, and its stronger than even Luke's! But if he didn't learn how to control it, he'd eventually self-destruct! Or worse, he'd become my father!"

"So, in exchange for learning to control his 'powers', he'll just despise us forever. We'll never be able to penetrate his shield, but that's okay, because he'll be a kriffing Jedi. That's wonderful."

His mother began to cry, softly; and after a few moments Ben could hear his father holding her and trying to soothe her.

"I'm sorry; it's okay, Leia. It's okay. Everything will work out for the best, someday. I'm sure of it."

How wrong his father had been.  
Yet still, how RIGHT.

Ren had made poor, deadly choices that had brought him here, to be Snoke's right hand. To turn his back on everything his parents had stood for, fought for, believed in.

But if he had never come here, he would never have met his soulmate. He would never have met Hannah, or be put in her path to save her from the life she had been living.

Yet the thought of someday returning home to his mother lurked forever in the back of his mind, and try as he might, he could not drive the thought away.

Ren's biggest inner turmoil in regards to this matter resulted in the fact that he no longer believed in what Snoke was fighting for, nor did he believe in his mother's cause.

Politics and war had burned him out, until he was unsure of what he felt was right or wrong.

Did the galaxy need to be harnessed under one ultimate power, where one faction made the decisions for everybody, the way Snoke thought it should be?

Or should people be free to make their own choices in regards to their lives and their happiness, the way his mother thought it should be?

He knew, or rather sensed, that Hux felt the same way about the issue, more or less.

Hux was a person who was drawn to structure, to order and method and uniformity. Snoke and his regime represented these standards for Hux, which is what kept him loyal to him as the years passed.

Hearing Hux actually speak about the possibility of them going to Leia had made Ren's heart clench painfully in his chest.

He wanted that, but was terrified of it at the same time

Besides thinking of his mother, Ren thought quite often about his uncle.

Even if his mother did somehow miraculously forgive him, and welcome him home, he doubted that Luke could do the same.

There had been a time when the two were very close. He could confide in his uncle all the things that he couldn't tell his parents, and the older male always tried his absolute hardest to help his nephew.

And how had Ren repaid that kindness?

He rose up and destroyed everything his uncle had worked tirelessly to build, from his academy to the innocent students that had attended it.

He had broken his uncle's heart enough to send him into exhile, to send him running from the places and the people that he had once loved and cared for.

Snoke had twisted Ren's mind to believe that his uncle was afraid of him, and was constantly holding him back, restricting his powers and not letting him reach his full potential out of fear and jealousy.

From the distance of years, Ren could now see that this had been grossly untrue; just another way that Snoke had twisted the truth to get Ren to join him.

But by the time Ren realized this, it was too late to turn back, or to fix that which he had destroyed.

Regret, mixed with acceptance.

It was odd, in a way, that in the beginning, the only "person" Ren had felt he could confide in was his Grandfather's helmet. The voice that emitted from it guided him through his darkest times, telling him what to do when Ren was lost inside.

Yet even on that account, Ren was confused.

He had never heard Darth Vader's actual voice in his life. And he couldn't help but think that Vader's voice sounded eerily like his own, just deeper.

Was that because they were family?

Or because maybe, just maybe, Vader's voice was really just an extension of Ren's own troubled conscience?

If that was the case, it would certainly explain the increasingly frequent lectures about returning home.

Ren shook his head, trying to clear it.

He often felt like his mind would explode with all the things that it wouldn't let him forget.

The best he could do was temporarily push everything aside.

So he merely reached around him and pulled Hux's arms even tighter around himself, before finally drifting off to sleep.


	14. Chapter 14

"Go."

"But what--"

"Kylo. GO. Keep walking, don't talk, don't look back. Go."

"I don't understa--"

Hux reached up and grabbed Ren's helmet, yanking it off and throwing it with impressive strength down the hallway. 

Before Ren could properly register any surprise, Hux grabbed Ren's arm, twisting it painfully behind his back. Ren yelled in pain, and struggled to get away.

"What in the hells are you DOING?!", he roared at him

Hux didn't answer. He kept hold of Ren's arm as he marched him through the mostly empty hallways, cautiously looking around corners and hurrying them along.

The evening had started off as fairly normal, for Ren.

He had been heading down the corridor towards Snoke's chambers.

Hux had been in there with him, so Ren had waited outside, pacing restlessly around the door while he waited for them to be finished. He was expected to meditate with Snoke after Snoke's meeting with Hux, and he impatiently waited for them to stop talking so he could get it over with.

Every night, Hux would be called to Snoke's quarters to give him a detailed report on the base's daily productivity, and what the objectives for the next day were. These meetings between the two of them were mostly informal, the atmosphere more relaxed than if it had been Hux and any number of his men coming to meet with Snoke, rather than just Hux on his own.

Just recently, in the past few weeks, Hux had introduced to Snoke his love for tea, and would often make the two of them a pot of different-flavored varieties for them to drink while they talked.

Ren had rolled his eyes, the first time Hux had mentioned this to him.

"You and your tea obsession," he had said, shaking his head. "It's bad enough that you forced me into this, and Hannah, but now you've got Snoke swilling this nonsense, too."

"Two things about that, Ren: one, nobody 'forced' you to drink it. And two, Snoke has good taste. Unlike certain dark haired Neanderthals I could mention."

No matter what Ren said, or how he teased him, Hux kept right on bringing the tea into Snoke's chambers.

He had done so earlier this evening, carrying a tray of a particularly sweet-smelling brew and disappearing into the Supreme Leader's chambers.

As Ren paced and waited, he was surprised when he heard what sounded like a small thud coming from behind the ornate doors.

He stopped, wondering whether he should go into the rooms and see what had caused the noise, when Hux had come out, his pace hurried but his eyes calm as he forced Ren down the dark corridors with him.

They were headed in the direction of the ship hangar, and Hux's footsteps quickened as they drew near.

Once inside the dark hanger, he let go of Ren's arm, his eyes searching among the many starships. He finally walked up to a ship that Ren had never seen before.

He knew, looking at it, that it didn't belong to the First Order. 

It was very small, not much bigger than a shuttle, and old. The paint was peeling in parts, the entire color a dirty, washed-out gray.

"There it is," Hux said to himself, smiling. 

He turned around and said to his confused husband "Come on; get on the ship."

Ren stared at him, by now quite sure that Hux had lost his mind.

"Hux--what are we doing? Why did we have to run out of there like that? And where did you get this old relic?"

Hux sighed, coming over and taking Ren by the arm again.

"I'll explain once we're out of here, but for now, I need you to just trust me and get on the ship. Okay?"

Without waiting for him to respond, he pulled the knight up the ramp and onboard, sitting him in a chair before going to take the pilot's seat.

He accessed the controls and took off quickly, not looking back as the little ship sped into the darkness and lifted from the planet's atmosphere.

Once they were in space, Hux punched in a set of coordinates, carefully checking to make sure they were correct, before setting the course to autopilot.

Taking a deep breath, he turned around and walked over to join Ren, who had been watching him with a kind of stunned silence.

"Hux, seriously, WHAT IS GOING ON?!"

"Not so loud, Ren. You'll wake her up."

"Wake who up?"

Hux stood and walked over to a little area partitioned off with a curtain. He pulled it back, revealing Hannah, curled up in the tiny bunk, sound asleep.

On the floor around her were a number of suitcases, and to the shelf on the left of he was Ren's grandfathers helmet, glinting black in the dim lighting of the ship.

It looked just as confused as Ren felt.

Before Ren could ask Hux, again, what was going on, the latter reached over and grabbed his hands, holding them tightly. He was wearing his wedding band, and the circle burned cold fire into Ren's fingers.

"I drugged him."

"You--what?"

"I drugged Snoke's tea. Not enough to kill him, just enough to make him sleep for a very long time."

Ren's jaw dropped. He was speechless as Hux continued.

"We're leaving here, Ren. Me, you, and Hannah."

"We are going to your mother."

"My--my mother?" Ren asked, his head swimming with disbelief. "Hux, that's impossible. We don't know where the Resistance IS; and even if we did, my mother doesn't want to see me!"

"You're wrong on both counts, Ren. One, I DO know where your mother is. I've been sending out operatives and doing research for weeks trying to solve where she was. I got lucky about a week back, when one of my men came across a Resistance starship and managed to get a tracking device on board."

"You found her?" Ren stammered, unable to believe it. His heart was pounding hard with dread and excitement. 

"Indeed, my love. And here's where else you're wrong; she DOES want to see you. Very much so. I--I spoke to her. I tapped into her com channel and sent her a message. She responded and we talked for almost an hour."

Ren tried to wrap his head around the enormity of this, and couldn't. He couldn't believe that Hux had gone through so much effort, or that he had been able to keep something as monumental as FINDING THE RESISTANCE to himself, and secret from Snoke.

"Don't worry," Hux told him, as though reading his mind. "I've covered my tracks very well. I destroyed the device I used to contact your mother, and I killed the men who tracked down the Resistance Starship. Nobody knows anything of this but you, myself, and Hannah."

"I told your mother that if we could get away, we'd come to her. I told her that we're married, and we have a daughter. I know I should have told you all of this a while ago, but I couldn't. I know how strongly you and Snoke are connected, and I didn't want him to see any of this in your thoughts or feelings."

Ren swallowed hard, twice, his mind tailspinning into chaos and disbelief.

"Hux--do you have any idea what you've done? What this means for you? You can never go back to the First Order now. Snoke will hunt both of us for the remainder of his life. And the Resistance! We won't have nearly the luxuries that Snoke gave us, or the resources, or the technology. We'd likely live in a plain house, the three of us, with the barest of necessities. You won't have an army, you won't have soldiers falling all over themselves to obey your every word. You'll be ordinary, like everyone else."

"No, I won't be like everybody else. Not everybody has someone like you, Ren. You're everything to me. You may not see that, or believe it, but you ARE."

"You know, the day we got married, I promised to always protect you. That's what I'm doing right now. I'm  
protecting you from Snoke, and all the pain and suffering your mind has gone through at his hands."

"And you underestimate my planning prowess, Ren. Your mother assured me that your Uncle would be more than willing to continue with Hannah's training, if that's something you both wanted. And she assured me that there'd be a place for me in her military circle. Especially with THESE."

He opened a small case sitting near their feet, pulling out a variety of different papers.

"The schematics of the base. The training schedules of our troops. The plans to the weapon. Everything. You told me your mother was a smart woman, didn't you? Well, I feel like with all this, the Resistance will be more than prepared to annihilate the First Order."

Ren punched his own arm, once, twice, trying to wake himself up. This entire situation felt like another of his dreams. He knew that in a moment he'd wake up with the sunlight streaming in his face, and Hux telling him that he needed to get up and dressed, already.

But he didn't wake up.

He was excited beyond all reason.  
He was terrified beyond all belief.

In the back of his mind, he saw his mother's face as he had seen it last, so many years before.

Would she have changed?

What would she think of HIM?

Hux must have sensed his thoughts, because he gripped Ren's hands tightly.

"She's going to be so happy to see you, Ren. Trust me."

'''''''

The shuttle made its landing on the little planet, and Ren's heart began to pound.

It had been years since he had seen his mother, yet as soon as they got within 100 feet of this base, he could sense the overwhelming force of her presence.

There were several small buildings situated in a circle around one larger building. Ren could see a battalion of X-wing ships in neat rows around the property.

There was a small group of armed men lined up around the docking ramp, and the look on their faces made Ren smile.

He could tell that they were worried for his mother, and wary of her impending reunion with her volatile son. He could sense that every one of them would die to protect her, and for this, he was grateful.

Hux and Hannah had changed their clothes on board the ship, to garments that were lighter in color and didn't bear the First Order insignia.

Ren had been too nervous to change, and his nerves increased tenfold when he looked out the window and saw a small figure emerging from one of the buildings.

A woman, short in stature, with light brown hair interspersed with gray wisps piled neatly on top of her head.

She walked with a confident, fluid gait that Ren remembered perfectly well, and stopped at the end of the ramp.

Ren took a deep breath and stood up, feeling faint, all the color draining from his face.

"It's going to be okay," Hux whispered, kissing his cheek. He took Hannah's hand and held it firmly as the three prepared to exit the shuttle.

"Hannah and I will stay by the entrance, while you go to your mother. I think this is something you have to do alone, love."

Ren nodded in agreement, barely feeling the squeeze Hux gave his hand, or the hug Hannah gave him, as they emerged into the open.

So many emotions were emanating from his mother that Ren felt dizzy with them all. He struggled to remain steady as he walked towards her.

When he was still a few feet away, he stopped, feeling as though he couldn't go any further. He opened his mouth several times to speak, but the words wouldn't come.

"Mom . . . " he managed to get out, before bursting into tears. He dropped to his knees in front of her, unable to even look her in the face out of shame.

Amazingly, he felt his mother draw nearer him, and felt her arms go around him as he knelt before her, and her soft hands smoothing back his hair.

"Please forgive me, mom, please, I'm so sorry, please forgive me." He choked the words out repeatedly, his arms clutching shakily around her waist.

"Ben." It was the first time she had spoken, and her voice was exactly the way he remembered it; warm, soft and sweet. Like the most beautiful music ever created. "I've already forgiven you. I'm so glad you've come back to me."

She began to sob, holding her crying son close to her, her tiny arms squeezing tightly around his broad shoulders.

Eventually he was able to stand, rising up beside his mother and wiping tears out of his eyes.

"Maker," she said unsteadily, wiping her own tears. "I've been dreaming about you all these years, but I never imagined that you'd have gotten so handsome, baby."

Ren blushed, hugging his mother to him again. "When your mother is the most beautiful woman in existence, you can't help but be handsome," he said jokingly.

"You've got a point there, Ben. Or are you still going by Kylo Ren?"

"I am, but you can call me Ben if you want. You can call me anything you like."

"So--you're married?"

Ren laughed a little, turning back towards where Hux and Hannah stood respectfully by the ship. He gestured for them to come over.

He took Hannah's hand first and pulled her in front of his mother. 

"This is Hannah. She is, by nearly every stretch of the word, our daughter."

Hannah blushed at Ren's words, extending her hand towards Leia.

"I'm very happy to meet you, ma'am.

Leia looked at the girl's outstretched hand, ignoring it as she pulled her into a warm hug instead. 

"Hannah. I'm happy to meet YOU. I never thought my son would give me a grandchild some day; much less such a pretty one as yourself. If you're comfortable with it, I'd very much like it if you called me Grandma."

"Okay--grandma," Hannah replied, her face emitting a beautiful radiant smile.

Next Ren took Hux's hand and pulled him forward. 

"I know you've already talked, but mom, this is my husband, Armitage Ren-Hux."

"I'm honored to finally meet you, General Organa," Hux said quietly, bowing before the diminutive woman and kissing her hand.

"So you're the one who captured my son's heart?"

"Yes. But to be fair, he captured mine, first."

The little group burst into laughter.

Suddenly Leia was embracing Hux fiercely, beginning to cry again.

"Thank you, thank you for bringing my baby home to me."

Ren had been so preoccupied with thoughts of his mother that he hadn't even noticed the trio that was standing off to the side, watching the reunion between mother and son with a mix of warmth and apprehension.

He recognized all three of them, but it was the one in the middle who made his heart clamor uneasily in his chest.

Tall, with a head of brown-gray hair. Piercing blue eyes that took in everything. A wise face. Tan robes that fell gracefully over his body and swayed with the breeze.

Ren took a deep breath before approaching this man, acutely aware of how the two who were at his side tensed up as he came near.

As with his mother, he stopped a few feet away, not knowing what, if anything, he should say to him.

What could there possibly BE that he could say?

I'm sorry I turned my back on you and everything you worked tirelessly to teach me?

I'm sorry that I smashed your dreams and your heart, killing your future Jedi's and blindly hunting you to do the same?

Luke walked up to him, an indecipherable expression on his face. For a moment he felt as though Luke would take out his green saber and cut him down. After all, it was what he deserved.

Luke's hand went up, and Kylo braced himself to feel the pulse of light slice through his body.

Instead, amazingly, his uncle had put his arms around him and was hugging him fiercely, laying his head on his nephew' shoulder and dampening his robe with tears.

Ren still could not speak, and he was barely over his shock to even properly hug his uncle back. 

All he could do was think his apologies out in his head, over and over, letting the painful words ebb out of his brain and into the space between them.

"I know, Ben," Luke said, patting Ren's shoulder.

"I know."

Looking over his uncles shoulder, Ren could see Rey looking directly at him. Even from where he stood, he could sense that she was much stronger in the Force than when he had first met her, and much wiser.

He walked up to her and timidly took her hand. He lifted it and moved it across the scar she had given him, closing his eyes.

"Thank you for this," he said quietly, gently dropping her hand. "This was the beginning of my wake-up call, my liberation from The First Order."

He turned towards the other, FN-2187, who was holding Rey's other hand tightly, his body tensed to attack should Ren make one false move. Ren could sense that the love around these two was very strong, almost as strong as the love he shared with Hux, and that made him smile.

"I'm sorry to you, as well. I have no excuse, no defense for what I put you and countless others through. All I can ask is your forgiveness. I don't deserve it, I know that, but I'd like to at least be on good terms with one another."

He held out his hand towards the former storm trooper, and after a moment he took it, his body relaxing but his eyes still wary. It would take some getting used to, the idea of being on the same side, but this was a good start.

"Well," said Leia, brushing a few lingering tears from her eyes and going to stand beside her son, "I think that's enough excitement for one day, don't you agree? I say we go now; I'll take you three home with me, get you settled. And then we get down to business."

Ren smiled, taking hold of his mother's hand and walking with her back towards Hannah and his husband.

"Hux has brought you some extensive intel, mother," he said lowly to her. "I think this time, your fighters have a solid shot at taking out The First Order."

Leia smiled, squeezing her son's hand.

"I hope so, Ben. I truly hope so."


	15. Chapter 15

"Wow, Hux. You call ME a sloppy eater, but look at that stuff all over your face." He pointed his finger at a spot on Hux's cheek.

"What? Where?", Hux asked, his eyes automatically looking down.

"There!", exclaimed Ren, as he craftily kissed the spot he had been pointing at. Snickering, he said "Made you look."

"Ha ha, very cute, Kylo. But speaking of sloppy, what's that on YOUR face?", he asked, also pointing.

Ren glanced down, and Hux tackled his lips with a smacking kiss.

"How in the hells did you fall for that? You JUST played that trick on me! What an idiot," Hux said, smirking, his voice dripping with affection.

"Yes, but that's okay. You married me for my looks, not my brains, right?"

"Of course not. You're not THAT great-looking, you know."

"Neither are YOU."

"Then I guess we'll just have to be ugly together, won't we?"

"I guess so," Ren replied with a grin.

"Do you know if Hannah and your mother are back from the market yet?", Hux asked him, going to sit in one of the comfortable plush chairs.

"They're still gone."

"You know we've got to talk to your mother about the way she spoils Hannah, right?"

Ren frowned, going to sit on the arm of Hux's chair.

"No, we don't. My mother is just ecstatic to have a child around again, and a female one at that. There's no end to the girly things they can do together."

"Hannah isn't a child, though, Kylo. She's near 17 years old."

"Hannah's a good daughter, and she deserves to be 'spoiled'. She helps my mother with the cleaning and the cooking, and she's become Luke's master pupil. If my mother wants to 'spoil' her, I'M certainly not going to stop her."

"I guess you're right," Hux said with a sigh. He grabbed Ren's hand and kissed it, his lips lingering over the shining wedding band.

"You know something? Seeing you act like a concerned father is the sexiest thing I can imagine."

Hux smiled at that, yanking down on Ren's hand until Ren was sitting on his lap.

"YOU'RE the sexiest thing I can imagine," he said, pulling Ren into a kiss.

"Five minutes ago you said I was ugly. Now I'm sexy. Make up your mind," Ren said teasingly.

Instead of answering, Hux gripped Ren's face roughly between his hands, kissing him until they were both panting and breathless.

"Maker, Hux, why do you torment me like this?"

"What do you mean, torment you?"

"YOU know what your kisses do to me; and my mother and Hannah will be back soon, so we can't DO, uh, you know, until later."

Hux gave Ren an evil smile, before leaning over and whispering something into Ren's ear. 

Ren blushed a deep red as Hux pulled away, the heat traveling all through his body like an electric shock.

He was about to just pick Hux up and carry him over his shoulder to their bedroom, when the low hum of his mother's ship caught his attention.

Hux heard it, too, and grinned. 

"Later. I promise."

Ren groaned lightly and got off of Hux, moving to sit in opposite chair right before his mother and Hannah came through the door.

Hannah's arms were loaded down with bags and parcels, and she excitedly ran to Ren and Hux.

"Look at what gramma bought me!", she exclaimed, as she pulled out a multitude of pretty flowing dresses and robes.

Hux glanced at Ren, thinking of saying something like "I told you so;" he smiled, instead. The happy look on Hannah's face was enough to quell his protests, at least for the time being.

They admired Hannah's new clothes, until Leia called out "You boys come in here, and help me with dinner. I have a lot of things I need cut, so I need some extra hands."

"Yes, mom," they both answered her at the same time, getting up and heading into the kitchen behind their daughter.

"I'm more looking forward to dessert, myself," Hux whispered to Ren, lightly trailing down Ren's arm with his fingertips as they headed into the kitchen.

Ren shivered, smacking the back of Hux's head lightly.

"Shut up with that, Hux!" he hissed at him, keeping his voice low enough so that Hannah and his mother didn't hear. "I swear if you keep teasing me like this, I'm going to punish you later."

Hux smiled, biting his lip.

"Good."

'''''''''''''

"Maker--I'm getting too old for this, Hux," Ren whimpered, wiping sweat from his brow. I feel like I just threw out my back again."

"I hope you didn't," Hux replied, resting his head on Ren's shoulder. "Because that'll be the 3rd time this month. You're mothers going to start thinking I'm being rough with you on purpose."

"That's nothing; yesterday when you were sitting next to her at dinner, she noticed the scratch marks below your neck, and the bites. You should have heard her thoughts," Ren told him, laughing softly.

"She-she noticed that? Oh, Maker, is that why her face was so red?"

"Probably."

Hux turned as red as his hair, burying his face into Ren's chest.

Ren held him, rubbing his back. "Don't be embarrassed. She's so happy with us, and with Hannah, that her heart could burst. You know since I was very young she was worried that I'd always be alone; now that she sees me with someone, and that someone loves me, back, she's ecstatic."

"Well, ecstatic or not, I'm glad that our room is soundproof."

Ren laughed, kissing Hux's forehead. "Me, too."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Yes."

"And you'll answer me honestly?"

"I always do."

"Okay," said Hux, leaning up on his elbows. "Do you miss it?"

"Miss what?"

"Everything. The base. The Finalizer. Your mask. Everyone being terrified of you. Snoke. The super-weapon. Do you miss any of it?"

The days since Ren and Hux had come to Leia had been hectic ones.

With the help of Hux's intel, and the bravery of Leia's fighters, the Resistance had managed to take out the First Order's base, as well as destroy the super weapon.

Supreme Leader Snoke had perished during the destruction, and Ren had had extremely mixed feelings about that.

On the one hand, he was happy.

Snoke represented years worth of suffering and pain for Ren, and the fact that he was now gone brought Ren much needed closure on that chapter of his journey.

Yet he could not help but feel a small amount of melancholy, deep down in his soul, over the loss of a man and a place that had been, for all intents and purposes, his LIFE.

But the bad was overshadowed by the good.

The three of the had moved into his mother's large house, despite their protests that it would be an inconvenience to her.

She was thrilled to have a family again, after having been alone for so long. Her bond with Hannah had become especially strong, and the two of them would spend long hours laughing, talking, cooking, and going places together.

Hux and his mother were working hard with a multitude of people to establish some form of government to take over, and replace the dictatorship that had been the First Order.

Hux was happy with this, as planning and strategizing was truly where he came into his own as a person. He was also pleasantly surprised that Ren's mother was every bit as smart and hard working as Ren said she was, and together they worked every day at restoring order to the chaotic galaxy.

In Ren's absence, Luke and Rey had established a new Jedi Order and were teaching new groups of pupils about the ways of the Force. 

Luke took Ren on as a fellow Master, alongside Rey, and together the three of them were kept busy with the new academy.

Hannah had decided to join Luke's academy as well. Although she was much older than most of the students, she still felt she had a lot to learn, and 'unlearn', in regards to Ren and Snoke's darkside-based teachings.

Luke took Ren aside one day and told him that, as quickly as Hannah learned, as skilled as she was, it wouldn't be long before she could be a Master herself. This had made Ren smile like a proud father.

All of these things gave background and weight to Hux's question, and Ren had to really think about his answer before responding.

"Some things, yes. Believe it or not, sometimes I miss Snoke."

"Why?", asked Hux, somewhat disbelieving.

"He manipulated me away from my family, I know that. But you've got to remember, too, that he was the one person who was in my head, and treated me somewhat like a son, since I was a teenager. There were flaws and sickness in that, but it was still THERE.

And like I say, I know it was manipulation. He preyed on my fears and insecurities, and swayed me to his side with lies and false promises. I was a tool to him, me and my power.

But, my mother and Han were always busy when I was a kid, and stayed busy well into my teens. Always. I'd be away with Luke so much I rarely saw them, and when I did, it was like visiting two strangers.

Snoke was THERE. He represented power, yes, but more importantly he represented permanency. Someone who was always around, and constantly showering me with praise.

I loved my parents, but I also resented them, because they sent me away to Luke. I thought it was because they just wanted to get rid of me, to have a place to stow me away while they were off doing their own activities. I realize now that they just wanted what was best for me. I just--I just wish Han--I wish I could have--I wish--"

Ren broke off, breathing heavily, trying to keep from crying. 

Hux understood, and quietly rubbed Ren's head, massaging his fingers through Ren's raven locks.

"One day you're going to make your peace with that. And I'll be here to help you do it, love.", Hux whispered to him.

"You don't know how thankful I am that I got to my mother, before it was too late for that," Ren said, hugging Hux tightly. "And I have you to thank for that, as well."

He slid off the bed and knelt by the side, grabbing Hux's hand.

"Hux, will you marry me?"

Hux laughed and blushed, taking his hand away.

"We're already married, you dolt."

"So what? Let's get married again."

"Wait--are you being serious?"

"Yes, I'm being serious! The first time was wonderful but I didn't like that it had to be a secret. Here, if we did it now, EVERYONE would know, and everyone could come. My mother. Luke. Chewbacca. The pilots. Everyone."

"That actually sounds really fun. Okay, we should definetly start planning that, maybe for the summer?"

"That sounds perfect."

"In the meantime, though, you need to get back into bed right now."

"Why?"

"Because I miss the super-weapon."

"Wow," Ren said, rolling his eyes. "That was the worst come-on I've ever heard. Do you practice these before-hand or do they come off the top of your head?"

"You're lucky, then, because my first thought had been to say 'The weapon is fully charged and ready to fire.' Either way, you know, you COULD just accept the compliment and get over here."

Ren laughed as he crawled back into bed and next to his husband, pulling the blankets over both of them.


End file.
